


Becoming Someone

by creativityobsessed



Series: Someone [2]
Category: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Pre-show, companion fic, penpal au, some angst with happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28550715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativityobsessed/pseuds/creativityobsessed
Summary: Kurosawa Yuichi has been pining over Adachi for almost six years. In an effort to approach Adachi in a way that won't make him feel uncomfortable, he begins writing Adachi anonymous letters.Companion fic to Dear Someone.
Relationships: Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi
Series: Someone [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091744
Comments: 248
Kudos: 254





	1. August, 2019

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a companion piece for my Dear Someone fic. If you haven't read Dear Someone, you will probably be ok, but there will be many ways in which the two tie together.
> 
> Thanks to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) for being one of the most important people in my life, and also for beta-ing basically anything I write.

“Yuuuuuuu-ichi,” Yuzuki says, plopping down in the chair next to Kurosawa’s. He sighs and snaps the manga he’s been reading shut. 

“Yes, dear sister?” he says, putting as much weariness as he can into the short sentence.

“How’s your crush?” she asks, and the trademark Kurosawa family impishness creeps into her grin.

“No different than when you asked this morning, thanks,” he replies, and he opens his book again, hoping she’ll get the hint. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” she continues, and Kurosawa rolls his eyes, “You should really do something about it.”

“Oh, so I can have a rotating roster of boyfriends like you do?” he says drily, without looking up. She huffs.

“Well, fine, if you don’t want my help, I won’t tell you my idea for getting his attention.”

Kurosawa attempts to ignore this. She just wants his attention. She wants him to do what she wants, and that almost _never_ works out well for him. He’s got it under control. He’ll just hold on to his little crush, that feeling of heat and pain right inside his chest, and then one day he’ll die and won’t have to deal with it anymore.

Yuzuki inspects her fingernails, making little sounds of annoyance every so often.

Kurosawa rolls his eyes. If it’ll get her to shut up, maybe he should just go ahead and ask. He puts his bookmark back in the book and sets it aside.

“Fine. What’s your idea?”


	2. September, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurosawa attempts to write his first letter to Adachi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work exists because [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) made me love siblings and also she beta'd it, so everybody go give her some love as a thank you.

_Dear Adachi,_

_You may not know me, but I am your coworker, Kurosawa Yuichi. I have the biggest crush on you and I was wondering if you’d be willing to write letters to me._

Kurosawa growls and scribbles through the unfinished letter. Aneki’s idea of writing to Adachi had been rolling around in his head for weeks now. Even though he’d told her at the time that it would never work, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. Adachi is shy, and doesn’t talk easily - any time he has to say anything in a meeting or at a work function, he stutters terribly. It’s very, very cute, but probably means that Adachi is terrified. On top of that, Kurosawa himself would probably be pretty intimidating. He’s been told that by his friends before, that the cloud of women that seem to always follow in his wake put them off. 

So, he thought, his sister’s idea of writing letters was one that would likely make Adachi much more comfortable. He could take his time with what he wanted to say, and would never have to say anything to Kurosawa’s face, if he didn’t want to.

The problem, of course, is how to get this all across in a letter.

Kurosawa bunches up the latest in a growing pile of discarded letters. Mentioning his crush is probably not a good first step. 

_Dear Adachi,_

_I watch you every day, and I think you’re so cute. I would love to get to know you better, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to write me notes so I can do that?_

Kurosawa rolls his eyes again. What is this, high school? They’re not going to be passing notes like school girls. Also, calling Adachi cute, while true, was probably not the best way to go. He rips that sheet of paper off the pad and crumples it up before tossing it in the overflowing wastebasket.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Kurosawa frowns. Who could that be? It couldn’t be Adachi, could it? Here to confess feelings that he’s figured out somehow so that Kurosawa doesn’t have to go through all of this silliness with the letters and the-- He shakes his head. It’s a nice thought, but this is real life. He heaves himself out of his chair and goes to the door.

“Oh good, you’re here,” Yuzuki says, and without even saying hello she breezes past him into the entryway, trades her heels for slippers and walks in to flop on the couch.

“Aneki, what-?” he calls after her, still holding the door in a bit of a daze.

“I broke up withKatsuki ,” she tells him over her shoulder, “Still don’t have my own place, though, so I’m staying with you tonight. Oooooh, are you trying my idea? You _are_ , aren’t you! Be sure to mention me in your wedding vows.”

“What?!” Kurosawa asks, still frozen in the entryway, and then he pales. The crumpled letters. Oh, she’s never going to let him forget this. He dashes into the living room to find her crouching next to the wastebasket, smoothing out letter after letter.

“Aneki!” he yells, grabbing the latest out of her hands, “Those are _private_!” She just stifles a giggle.

“Really? You’re gonna go with I love you off the bat, huh?” she says, her hand at her nose to cover her laugh, “He’ll definitely write back after that.”

“That was a _discarded_ draft,” Kurosawa grumbles quietly. Her needling hurts, though, because no matter how many drafts he’s done, it always ends up working its way in there somehow. Really, he’s held on to this crush so long, and imagined telling Adachi about it so many times that he doesn’t know how to _not_ tell him the second he has a chance. “Clearly, you need my help,” she says.

“I most certainly _do not_ ,” he insists, “Why are you even _here_?”

“I told you,” she says lightly, a fistful of crumpled pages in her hand as she stands up and walks over to the couch, “I’m staying here tonight.”

Kurosawa takes a deep breath with his eyes closed, nostrils flaring. His sister is one of the most _infuriating_ people he has ever met. 

“Fine,” he says finally, “ _Fine_. But leave those out of it.” He gestures to the pages she’s now leafing through. She sucks her teeth at a particularly bad passage, and he tries to snatch them away from her, but she jerks them out of his grasp.

“Look, here’s the thing. You’ve got crush goggles on. You couldn’t write a letter without sounding like you have a crush if you _tried_. You _definitely_ need my help.”

Kurosawa considers. If she’s just here for one night, he could always accept her help, and then write something else when she leaves. And, he supposes, there’s always the chance she actually _does_ know what she’s talking about when it comes to love, though that seems less likely given what he knows about her love life - that her relationships are short, and often don’t end well.

On the other hand, accepting her help would require, well, accepting her help, and she’s never going to let him live that down. She will hold it over him as a reason he owes her a favor for the rest of their lives, even if nothing ever comes of the letters. Oh _why_ did she have to show up unannounced _tonight_ of all nights? And why had he decided to try writing to Adachi tonight?

“Well?” she asks, looking up at him, “Go sit at the desk, I’ll tell you what to write.”

“You can’t just tell me what to write, Aneki, it has to sound like me!”

She sighs. 

“Okay. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to just tell you what’s wrong with these?”

“I- Are you going to anyway, even if I say no?” he asks, and perches on the very edge of the couch.

“Yes. Look, the first thing is, salutation. _Dear Adachi_ seems like you’re already friends, and you’re not really, you know what I mean? You need to make this first letter as unassuming as possible, so that he won’t feel like he has to say yes or he’ll feel bad about it.”

Kurosawa considers for a moment. She’s actually probably right. 

“Go on,” he says, crossing his legs and resting his chin in his hand as he thinks.

“Well, I mean, obviously I don’t know him as well as you do, but you’ve told me he’s shy right?”

“Mmm,” he confirms.

“Shy people are going to feel anxious or just generally bad about every decision they make when it comes to other people. You have to work to make it easier for them to make decisions that won’t feel bad,” she says, flipping past another letter.

“Did you take a psych degree while I wasn’t looking?”

“Mmm, I minored in it eventually, did you forget?”

“What, really?”

“Yeah, remember how American schools make you take gen eds in a lot of different subjects? I took a psych gen ed my first semester, and I liked it so much I got a minor in it.” She pauses briefly and then continues, “And look, here, introducing yourself and saying you really want to get to know him? That’s going to be scary. You’re Kurosawa Yuichi, star of the company. He’s going to think somebody is playing a prank on him, or something.”

“I’m not-” he lets out a breath and changes tactics unsure how to finish, “So I shouldn’t introduce myself? Then how is he going to know it’s me?” Aneki looks up. 

“Actually, that might be more fun, don’t you think? You could be anonymous. And that could be freeing for him, let him really open up to you a bit more. Once he trusts you, of course.”

“I-” Kurosawa finds himself at a loss for words. Her advice all seems so strange.

“Look, you know people right, you’re a salesman. You can get them to do what you want. But you know all those people you talk to, in sales? They’re at least a little bit extraverts. This guy? This guy spends all day with his code and barely talks to anybody. You gotta be gentle.”

“I hardly think you know the man I’ve been watching for six years better than I do.”

“I don’t. You already knew these were bad. You just didn’t know why,” she says, waving the wrinkled sheets of paper in the air. Kurosawa sighs. Why does she always have to be _right_ when she’s being her most annoying. Seeing the frustrated look on his face, she sets the letters down beside her, and leans forward.

“Yuichi. I know that we don’t always get along, ok? But really, I want to help you. I want you to have a chance to be happy. And from where I’m sitting? This man looks like that chance.”

Kurosawa looks up at his sister, surprised at the serious turn. He suddenly has the urge to fidget, and it takes all of his willpower not to scratch the back of his neck, or fiddle with his fingers.

“You think so?” he asks, finally.

“Yeah. The look on your face when you talk about him? I haven’t seen you look that happy in years, and you haven’t even tried talking to him yet. Imagine how happy you’ll be if this goes right. So listen, I’m gonna help you in whatever way I can, even if that means roasting the shit out of you so that you don’t give yourself away too early and scare him away.”

Despite her less than kind words, Kurosawa is touched. Yuzuki almost never admits to liking her “baby brother” out loud. He knows she does, because she shows it in other ways, but she almost never tells him so.

And so he agrees. He sits back down at the writing desk, and they stay up late into the night tweaking phrasing, and arguing over how much to tell Adachi about who is writing and why. In the end, the letter they settle on is so short that it doesn’t feel like the result of a whole evening of drafting.

_Hello,_

_I’ve wanted to be friends with you for a while, but I’m having trouble figuring out how to approach you. Would it be ok if I wrote you notes sometimes? Leave your response under the coffee maker in the break room._

It’s short, and to the point, and has no mention of crushes, undying affection, or what Aneki calls “stalking.” Most importantly, it shouldn’t be scary. Now all that’s left to do is get it to Adachi, and hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm really enjoying writing Kurosawa and his Aneki, so I hope you like it too!


	3. January, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurosawa is home for New Years' break and dodging questions from his sister about how his correspondence is going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone interested in reading (or re-reading) Dear Someone along with, this chapter comes after chapter 2 of that fic.
> 
> Once again, all thanks to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) for the beta.

Kurosawa is standing at the stove, absently stirring the Chikuzenni for New Years Dinner. His thoughts are elsewhere, flying all the way to Tokyo and what Adachi might be doing right now. He can picture him, curled up under a kotatsu, gaming - for some reason Kurosawa is picturing an old-school Gameboy and the image makes him smile. He wonders if Adachi would have liked Pokemon as a kid, and whether he played Red or Green.

He sighs. After the way the letters had gone yesterday, he’s not sure he’ll ever get to find out. It’s entirely possible that he has given himself away, in all senses of the word. But after Adachi had suggested that he might be a disappointment to “Someone,” he hadn’t been able to keep himself from trying to find the right words of comfort. If he could just say the perfect thing, maybe Adachi would stop being so hard on himself, and start to see Someone in a new light.

Even though he’d already taken his afternoon break when Adachi’s note had shown up, he surreptitiously gotten out a piece of paper to try and write a reply, because he couldn’t let that be the last word before they took time away from writing. He’d agonized over the right words and the right tone, but now he’s wondering if all he did was just write “I love you” on the paper, over and over and over again.

And then, just as he was finishing it up, Adachi got up and shouldered his backpack to leave, and before Kurosawa could even think he ran to the door to catch him. He’d had the presence of mind to say that Adachi had dropped the letter, just barely, so he didn’t literally give himself away, but if Adachi thought about it at all, he’d figure out that there was no way for Someone to have gotten him that letter and put it somewhere that it could have fallen out. And now, he has to wait a week to find out if Adachi has put the pieces together.

Kurosawa sighs again. The whole thing is a giant mess, and even though he’s glad he’s gotten this chance to get closer to Adachi, he almost wishes that he hadn’t taken it. Now that he has the letters, he doesn’t know if he could give them up.

The first week that they’d been writing had felt so surreal. Sure, Adachi’s notes were short and stilted, but Adachi was writing to him, he was answering his questions. By the time he’d received just three notes from Adachi he could tell that this was going to be something special, and so on his way home from work, he had gone shopping for a special box to keep Adachi’s letters in. The box is a soft ivy-green, and has delicate metal scrolling around the edges, and he keeps it tied shut with a red ribbon. It lives under his bed, just in case Aneki decides to show up unannounced again, but spends most of its time on his bedside table, because he loves to read the letters as he unwinds at night, getting ready to sleep. In just three months, the box is more than half full, and Kurosawa is beginning to think he’ll need to buy a new box soon, because Adachi’s letters are getting longer and longer, and Kurosawa is determined to treasure them properly.

“So!” Yuzuki says, jumping up to sit on the counter. Kurosawa startles. He hadn’t heard her come in because he’d been so lost in his own thoughts.

“What’s up with Adachi?” she asks, giving him a conspiratorial wink.

“What’s up with Katsuki?” Kurosawa returns, raising one eyebrow.

“He’s boring, and we’re already back together. I wanna know what happened after you gave him your letter.”

“We’ve been through this, Aneki, you don’t need to know every detail of my love life.”

Yuzuki pauses, a piece of mochi he’d cut for the Ozoni halfway to her mouth.

“You didn’t say non-existent. You _always_ say your love life is non-existent, and you didn’t this time,” she drops the mochi in her mouth, rests her elbows on her knees and leans forward, “So, what happened? When’s the wedding?” Kurosawa rolls his eyes.

“Is a word I _didn’t_ say really so significant?” he asks, lifting a spoonful of the Chikuzenni to his mouth to taste for seasoning.

“For you? Yes. Come on. Spill.”

Kurosawa sighs. He’d been hoping to avoid this conversation over New Years, but he’d also known that it was unlikely. It had been easy to ignore her texts whenever she asked that way - he would just move on to the next topic as if the message hadn’t even been sent - but with her right here, in person, pushing all the buttons that only a sister knows how to push, he really can’t avoid it.

“Okay, yes, we’ve been writing,” he admits, finally.

“And?”

“And it _was_ going pretty well.”

“Was?”

Kurosawa sighs again. “I might have screwed it up just before I came home.”

“How?” Yuzuki asks, genuine concern in her eyes.

“I- We’ve been writing daily ever since September, sometimes twice a day. And things were going good, he’s opened up and started writing longer letters, and that has been wonderful. So, I said so. I said that I’d miss writing to him while we’re on New Years’ break.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Yuzuki says, picking herself another piece of mochi. Kurosawa slaps her hand gently, and she looks him right in the eyes as she places it carefully in her mouth.

“It wasn’t. But then he tried to return the sentiment, and I just - he gets so down on himself sometimes. He said that he’d enjoyed our correspondence, and that he hopes he isn’t a disappointment now that I’ve gotten to know him.”

“Ah. So what did you do?”

Kurosawa looks up, ready to ask how she knew he’d done anything, but then stops himself. She’s his sister. Of course she knows.

“Well, I kind of- I-” he pauses, and it feels a bit like he’s got a balloon inside of him keeping him from taking in any more air. “I told him that I thought it was a shame that all he can see about himself are the bad things, and I wanted to tell him what I see.”

“Uh huh. So you told him you love him?”

“Not in so many words, but-- yes.”

“I see. Well, maybe he didn’t get it before he left for the day-”

“No, it gets worse,” he interrupts her, “I- uh- It took me a while to finish it, and so he got up to leave just as I was done and without thinking I ran after him? It was stupid, I know, but I didn’t want him to spend all of break on the-- he’d written this note, see, asking me to lower my expectations, and I couldn’t just let him think I was accepting that. So I ran after him, and I told him he’d dropped it, and he’s probably figured out he didn’t by now, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

Yuzuki listens carefully, and then hands him a piece of the mochi she’s been snacking on. He takes it and chews on it.

“Well,” she says finally, hopping down off the counter, “I guess there’s nothing to do about it right now. He’s at home, who knows where, and we’re 150 kilometers from Tokyo even if he _is_ there, so there’s no reason to mope around the house making the rest of us sad.”

“But what if he wants to stop writing, Aneki!” It feels like the words have clawed their way all the way out of his mouth from his gut, the one thing that he is most afraid of, and least able to control. They hang in the air and make his eyes sting with tears.

“Hey,” Yuzuki says, her face going soft, “I don’t think he will.”

“You don’t know him, Aneki, I haven’t told you that much. He scares so easily.” Kurosawa hates the way that his voice breaks on that last sentence, and he ducks his head and turns away to wipe a tear threatening to spill over, “What if I’m not good enough? What if I can’t be-”

“I think you _are_ good enough. But if you’re not, then in the long run you don’t want him anyway.”

“But-”

“Yuichi. Listen to me. I know you have that perfectionism complex, but when it comes to people we love we _can’t_ be like that. Sure, at first, maybe, you can try to be perfect, but the more time you spend with them, the more they’ll see through that, and that’s a good thing because it’s _exhausting_.”

Kurosawa fights the urge to roll his eyes. Aneki has people who love her because of who she is - brash and argumentative and opinionated. Nobody has ever loved him for anything other than being perfect, and if he wants to get Adachi’s attention, it’s literally the only thing he’s good at. But arguing with Yuzuki when she thinks she’s right never works.

Luckily, just then, the timer for the Chikuzenni goes off, and he scrambles to get the burner turned off and grab a skewer to test the vegetables for done-ness.

“I gotta-” he starts

“Yeah,” Yuzuki says, patting him on the shoulder, “If you ever need to talk, let me know, ok?”

* * *

A few nights later, Kurosawa is sitting at the desk in his childhood bedroom, trying desperately to write a letter he hopes won’t be needed. He’ll be taking the train back to Tokyo tomorrow, and then returning to work the day after, and he’s become so worried about what will happen when he gets there that he has to put those thoughts into a letter.

_Dear Adachi,_

_Please forgive me. I don’t know what came over me in that last letter. I meant it all, but even as I wrote it I knew it might scare you. I’m hoping I won’t need this letter, but if you’re reading it then I guess I do._

_I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me. I have no expectations beyond this. I’m already so grateful that you agreed to correspond with me, and that you’ve opened up to me in the ways that you have. I know that’s hard for you, and that you’ve truly blessed me with a side of you that most people never see, and-_

_The things that I wrote came with no expectations. You don’t have to say anything - we don’t have to talk about it ever again. Just please don’t stop writing to me. Your letters have become the most important part of my day, and I cannot bear the thought of losing them because I made a stupid mistake. Please don’t make me go through that._

_Just tell me what you need me to be, and I will be it. I can do anything, if you ask it of me. Just please don’t stop writing._

Kurosawa sits back to reread what he wrote. He hasn’t signed it - maybe he won’t until he knows if it’s necessary. He hopes it isn’t.

If it weren’t for the fact that the building would be locked, he’d be half-tempted to go straight to work from his train tomorrow to check if there’s a letter beneath the coffee maker, waiting for him. But the building will be locked, and besides, Adachi got his last letter as he was walking out for the day, there’s no way he could have replied while everyone was out of office.

Kurosawa sighs. He really should not have started himself down this path. His crush had already been getting out of hand, and now that he has the tiniest bit more, he’s desperate for anything he can get. But he will be good. He will be what Adachi needs, and he will be content with whatever that is.

* * *

Monday morning comes with the slowness of a child anticipating their birthday or dreading the first day of school. Kurosawa spends the night before tossing and turning, pulling out his box of letters and rereading his favorites, and then rereading his apology. He’s so nervous that he gets to work early, so early that he has to force himself to not check the coffee maker first, because there is no way that Adachi is here this early.

As he enters the office his eyes go immediately to Adachi’s desk, and sure enough, it looks like it has been untouched. No Adachi yet. He nods at the few coworkers already here, and says his good mornings before settling into his chair, and the day’s work as best he can despite the temptation to jump up and check the coffee maker every five minutes.

Half an hour later, Adachi trudges into the office, and says his quiet good mornings. If Kurosawa wasn’t so attuned to the sound of his voice, he might have missed it - Adachi tries so hard to go unnoticed, and after their exchange before the break, Kurosawa is starting to see why.

At the moment, however, his more immediate concern is whether Adachi is planning to continue writing to him. He watches Adachi all the way to his chair, and waits until he slouches into it, before he jumps up, muttering “toilet” and runs to the break room.

Tilting the coffee maker this early in the morning has proven a difficult task, so he carefully removes the pot and sets it aside first. He’s not sure Adachi has thought of that yet, because occasionally on mornings that are his to write first, he’ll find little drips and splashes of coffee on the notes. Gently, eyes squinted shut, he tilts the coffee maker ever so slightly. There, underneath, is the crisp white, folded sheet of paper that he’d been hoping for. He lets out the breath he’d been holding and pockets the letter, returning the coffee pot to its burner.

He should go somewhere more private to read the letter, but the only person he recognizes from their office is Fujisaki, and she’s just entered to refill her coffee cup - if he finds a seat in a different corner, she won’t really notice, probably.

_Dear Someone,_

_How was your holiday? I’m writing this part before leaving on mine, and then I’ll keep going another time, because I thought it might be interesting for you to get several bits from different parts of my holiday. I’m sure mine will be great, of course, but I won’t be able to tell you how it is until you get to the end of this letter. You’ve had yours though, so, how was your Onee-san? Did she pester you again? Perhaps next time she tries you should tell her your friend says to leave you alone. (Me. “Your friend” is me. In case that wasn’t clear.)_

_I always hate packing, even when it’s just for a few nights like this. What if I forget something? What if it’s something important, like a phone charger, or my computer, or, I don’t know, the book I’m in the middle of? My mom always says I’m being silly, that whatever it is I can either do without or go to the store for. Doesn’t stop me from being worried though. I know I can be forgetful, and I wish there were something I could do to not be that way, but the only thing I can seem to do is just worry._

_Anyway, it’s just a short train-ride away, and it’s just for a few days. I’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to see anyone besides Mom, right?_

* * *

_(1/2/2020)_

_Thought I’d do a little bit more writing! Mom and I are sitting at the kotatsu, and she’s reading her latest manga. She likes lots of shoujo stuff, lots of romance and fluffiness. It’s what I started on actually - I didn’t read things like Ragna Crimson and such until I got to college. Sometimes, if I’m feeling real homesick, I’ll pick out an old shoujo that we read together when I was younger and read that. Fruits Basket was a favorite, and is definitely one you’ve probably heard of since it’s been made into anime twice, but there were several we read together. Whenever there was a new volume in one of our favorite series, we’d get just the one copy, and then before I went to bed at night, she’d snuggle in next to me and we’d both read at the same time. Once in a while it’d be so good that she’d keep going after I fell asleep but mostly she was good about not doing that._

_I’m sorry. It probably seems like I’m avoiding your last letter. I kind of am? Not in a bad way, I just- I don’t know what to say. You said some really wonderful things in that letter. It’s like you read my mind and knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Before that might have been scary, but now that I know you, for whatever definition of “know” we’re going with for… whatever this is, it’s actually really nice. I mean, I don’t feel like I deserve it. But since you said it, I feel like maybe I could._

_Anyway, since you did that for me, I thought I’d do something similar for you! I’m not as good with words as you are (were you a poet in college?) but I can at least tell you some reasons I like being friends with you._

_You’re funny. Your descriptions of your relationships with all your family members always make me laugh, and I’m not really the kind of person who laughs out loud all that much._

_You’re meticulous. You keep careful track of a bunch of things I say, and you respond to them in the next letter, sure, but you also remember them for a long time afterwards too - although really, you gotta stop buying me all these croissants, I’m getting spoiled!_

_You’re kind. You never hesitate to say something if you think I need to hear it. Well, I guess maybe you do, if you’re the type to re-draft your letters. I don’t do that much, I guess, so I assume you don’t either, but you could. But even if you did, the way you say things so freely makes me think that you don’t have to. You say what you mean the first time, and then you stick by it._

_You’re fun to talk to. I never really thought I could have this much in common with anybody. Even my best friend from college, Tsuge, we get together once in a while and we talk, and we like some of the same manga and that sort of thing, but we don’t really have things in common the way you and I do, you know?_

_Anyway, all of this to say that I didn’t know it yet, but when I got your first note, you were exactly the person I needed in my life. Thank you._

* * *

_(1/5/2020)_

_I guess I should finish up, since I’d like to drop this off first thing in the morning! I think originally I’d meant to write every day, but there just wasn’t enough interesting things going on to write about. Anyway, I’m back now, and I can tell you how my holiday was! It was good. Nice and relaxing. I finished my reread of Ragna Crimson the day after New Years, and then I worked on the latest volume of Kimetsu no Yaiba, do you know it? I guess it’s pretty popular, so you probably do. It’s got demons instead of dragons, but I still think you might like it. I also really enjoyed all the New Years food - with just the two of us it’s hard for Mom to make small enough amounts, but I don’t mind because I really love some of the New Years foods. My favorite, though, I think, is sweet red bean soup? Not exactly traditional, but it’s similar to Ozoni, and Mom only ever made it for New Years, to make it special. She made enough that I got some every day while I was at home._

_Other than that, I stayed home, and didn’t do much. I brought my Switch with me so I could play some games, but I didn’t even end up doing that that much. It felt nice to fully relax and have nothing to worry about for a bit. Although, for the first time, I have to admit, I was kind of looking forward to coming back. Three months of daily letters is a hell of a habit to get used to, and suddenly going without has felt like a lot all of a sudden. I guess that’s why I spread out writing this one as much as I could, so that it felt a little bit normal, like you were there, just being really quiet for once._

_Ha, look at me - three whole pages, that’s a first! I guess I should stop then, huh?_

_I’m glad we’re back, Someone, and I’m glad you decided to be my friend. Thank you._

_Your friend,_

_Adachi_

Kurosawa looks up from the letter and relief floods him. Not a word about how odd it was to have an anonymous penpal tell him how amazing he was, or any hint that he read between the lines enough to see the love behind every word. That’s good. That’s really good.

Kurosawa absently brings the paper to his face as he is overwhelmed by the feelings running through him. It really was the most stupid of ideas to suggest the coffee maker as a place for Adachi to leave his letters. They always smell of coffee, which isn’t a bad smell, but Kurosawa likes to imagine that if he’d picked somewhere slightly less aromatic, he could smell the shampoo that he gets a whiff of whenever they stand a little too close in the elevator. He imagines he can smell it anyway, and closes his eyes to breathe in deep.

A gentle throat clearing across from him startles him out of his reverie.

“Everything alright, Kurosawa?” Fujisaki asks quietly.

“Oh, um, yes, everything is fine,” Kurosawa insists, placing the letter face down on the table.

“Good news?” she asks, gesturing towards the papers on the table.

“Uh--” he hesitates, because Fujisaki works directly with Adachi and if he says the wrong thing, then she might work it out, and if she works it out, she might tell Adachi.

“Mm,” he finally goes with, “Kind of. I guess you could call it good.”

She smiles, and takes a sip of her coffee. Then she purses her lips, and leans in.

“You know, he’s quite oblivious, but handing it directly to him was perhaps pushing it, even for him.”

Kurosawa pales.

“You know?” he asks finally, when he finds enough spit to move his suddenly dry mouth again.

“Your secret is safe with me, I promise,” she says, smiling brilliantly, “But you should be a little more careful.”

“Ah. Thanks for the warning.”

“And-” she says, pausing as she turns to go, “I’m rooting for you.” And with that she heads back out of the break room, presumably back to her desk.

Kurosawa lets out a breath and can feel his whole body slump as he does. Fujisaki hadn’t said anything he didn’t already know, and he supposes it was only a matter of time before somebody whose desk was close to Adachi’s realized he stops by there far more often than a typical colleague would need to. But he’d hoped that they all wouldn’t care to notice enough details to work out exactly what was going on.

He takes a deep breath and sets his shoulders. He can do this. He can be more subtle about leaving his notes.

He flips the letter back over quickly to take one more look first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in for a couple of pretty long chapters in a row, so thank you so much for making it to the end of this, and hang in there!


	4. February, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurosawa debates whether to do something for Adachi for Valentine's Day, and deals with a crisis with his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super mega thanks to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) for doing a fast beta and being the person who always tells me to just post the damn thing, even though I have anxiety.

_Dear Adachi,_

_Happy Valentine’s day. I’ve never really enjoyed the holiday myself, but I guess some people do? I hope that you feel as appreciated as you deserve to be. I, myself, don’t have any particular plans. I’ll probably watch a movie tonight. Haven’t decided what but surely I can find something on streaming somewhere that will be worth watching._

_How did you like that snow we had yesterday? I sometimes wish it would snow more often here in Tokyo. My family would sometimes travel up north in the winters just to see some real snow, and those are some of my fondest memories. Even when it meant playing in the snow with Aneki, since there weren’t usually other kids around our age. I miss that sometimes, you know? Being able to just completely let go and run around playing joyfully. I liked the way it made my nose cold and the feeling of not being able to catch enough air between the giggles. Of course, Aneki liked to cheat. I’m very ticklish you see, and she would love to catch me and put snow down the back of my coat. Have you ever been tickled by very cold fingers, Adachi? It’s a bit like that except that afterwards, there’s cold water in your clothes._

_Sadly the snow around here doesn’t stick around long enough for any of that. Still, I dream sometimes about doing that again. Although I could do without the snow tickles._

_I think you’re being a little unfair to Chief Yamamoto. He does tend to push work onto his subordinates, but honestly, I think for you most of that comes down to Urabe. And Chief Yamamoto often takes the whole office out for meals and such when good things happen for the company! He’s not a perfect boss, I guess, but he’s not terrible either. I’ve certainly heard of worse._

Kurosawa looks up at a knock at the door. It’s pretty late, so he’s not sure who it could be. He sets down his pen before standing to go unlock it.

Yuzuki stands on the other side of the door, hair bedraggled, and a small suitcase dragging behind her. Her makeup is smeared a little, enough that it looks like she’s been crying.

“Aneki?” he asks. She doesn’t say anything, just pushes past him, dropping her suitcase in the entryway, along with her coat, and heading into the living room. Kurosawa blinks a few times before he realizes, shivering, that he still hasn’t closed the door. He shuts it carefully, picks up Yuzuki’s coat to hang up, and then follows her into the living room.

Much to Kurosawa’s surprise, she’s sitting on the couch, a throw pillow grasped in her arms, and she seems not to have noticed that he was writing a letter on the nearby desk.

“What’s wrong?” Kurosawa asks, “Are you hurt?” She just shakes her head and hugs the pillow tighter.

“Was it Katsuki? If he hurt you, I’ll--”

“No, Yuichi. It wasn’t him.”

He waits for her to elaborate, but it doesn’t seem like she’s going to. He sits next to her on the couch, and opens his mouth to speak, but she interrupts him.

“It _wasn’t,_ I promise,” she says, “It was me. I- I dumped him.” The last sentence seems to have broken the dam and she starts crying. He scoots closer and wraps an arm around her shoulders, unsure what exactly he should be doing.

“What happened, Yuzuki? You can tell me, I promise.”

It takes her a while to collect herself, and Kurosawa just rubs her shoulders gently and offers tissues when she needs them. Her breakups aren’t usually this bad, or rather she’s not the type to cry over breakups like this. She walks out with her head held high and moves on immediately, most times.

“I just,” she says between sobs finally, “I couldn’t do it anymore. I really, really like him but-” she dissolves into sobs again, and Kurosawa pats her on the back gently.

“He- He was gonna propose tomorrow. I found the ring. And I- He caught me with it, and he wasn’t upset, he just started talking about how he wants to move on with our lives, and wants me to quit my job when we get married, and how we’d have children and I would take such good care of them and-”

She continues rambling for a little while, but Kurosawa mostly stops listening. He’d never actually met Katsuki, so he doesn’t have any idea what the guy is like other than what Yuzuki has told him, but clearly if this is what the guy is like, he’s not right for her at all. Nobody who knew Yuzuki would expect her to quit the job she loves, just to become a homemaker.

“And, anyway, I ended up telling him that I couldn’t be with him if he wanted me to be that, because I would never want that, and I just, I threw some of my things in a bag and I walked out,” she says in a rush, and then she hiccups a couple of times. Kurosawa rubs her shoulder a bit more.

“Doesn’t sound like he knows you at all, Aneki,” he says quietly, when it seems like she doesn’t have anything else to say, “Anybody that’s heard you talk about your job for more than five seconds at a time knows you love it. That you’d never give it up for something like marriage and kids. I’m sorry that he’s terrible.”

She sniffles a little, and nods her head. Kurosawa checks his watch - it’s gotten very late.

“Listen,” he says, “I’ve got a few more things to do before I go to bed, why don’t you take my bed. You can have a shower, and then go to sleep. Things will feel better in the morning. I’ll even make you breakfast. Natto - your favorite.”

She smiles weakly and nods. She gets up to head to his bedroom, and then pauses halfway there.

“You didn’t-- you didn’t have plans, did you?”

Kurosawa chuckles.

“Who would I have plans with, Aneki?”

“I don’t know, you haven’t mentioned how things are going with Adachi in a while…”

“Not that well yet,” he says drily.

“Do you need-”

“I do _not_ need your help, thank you. Besides, you’ve had a rough day. You should get some rest.”

She smiles again, and pads into the bedroom, her suitcase in tow. He watches her go, before turning back to the letter on his desk.

_Well that was unexpected. I am suddenly entertaining Aneki for the night. She broke up with her boyfriend today and needed a place to stay. I didn’t know him that well, to be honest, but apparently he wanted her to quit her job and become a stay at home mom for him. She found the ring he’d meant to propose with on Valentine’s Day._

_It’s strange, because I absolutely support her, she is my sister, and she’s right, she would absolutely hate being a stay-at-home mom. But at the same time, if the person I loved wanted me to do something? I couldn’t just say no like that. I certainly wouldn’t break up with someone over something they wanted me to do. I couldn’t. Whatever they need me to be, I would be to them, you know? Because I love them, and they need that, and so whatever it was I’d do it._

_I don’t know, it’s late, and the talk with my sister has put me in a strange mood. I probably shouldn’t even be bringing it up on a happy holiday._

_I guess, so that I don’t bring down the mood even more, I’ll stop there. I hope you get some chocolates tomorrow, Adachi, and that you enjoy the day._

_Yours,_

_Someone_

Kurosawa sits back and reads over what he’s written. It’s a bit sappy, and kind of a downer, but maybe Adachi will understand what he’s trying to say. And it’s too late to write another one - he’s got to get out the futon before going to bed, and if he wants to drop this off before his trip in the morning, he’s going to have to get up really early.

He probably won’t be able to pick up some chocolates to give to Adachi either. He hadn’t seriously thought about it before, but now that it’s not an option, he’s a little bit sad about it. Maybe while he’s out during the day he can stop in somewhere and find something appropriate to go with his next letter. He can say they were on sale even! That he’d not planned on getting anything, but knowing Adachi’s sweet tooth he couldn’t resist the leftover sweets. Yes, that was a plan.

He folds the letter carefully, and sticks it in his briefcase to bring with him tomorrow, and then he gets ready for bed. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.

* * *

Valentine’s Day is, indeed, as long as Kurosawa expects it to be. The presentation he was sent to give goes well enough, and he manages to avoid the avalanche of chocolates that have happened on a regular basis since he joined the company. He privately thinks the Chief of Sales sends him on business trips on Valentine’s Day on purpose just to be sure that the women of the office do some real work.

The stress of getting to work at exactly 7 am when the building opens to be sure he has time to drop off Adachi’s letter before he goes on his trip, however, is less nice. By the time his alarm went off he'd only had a few hours’ sleep, and by the end of the day he’s feeling the empty jitters of too many cans of coffee and not enough sleep. Still, he keeps going, because if he doesn’t go back to the office on his way home tonight, it’ll be blatantly obvious that he’s the one writing to Adachi as Someone just because he’ll end up going too long between replies.

As he walks between the train station and the office, he thinks about the chocolates that are sitting in the bottom of the bag that he’s carrying. They weren’t anything special, just obligatory chocolates that were being passed out in the street. He half suspects they weren’t even meant to be free in the first place, given the look on the girl’s face when she handed them to him. But, free chocolate was a good excuse to give Adachi something, even if it isn’t really what Kurosawa wishes he could give Adachi.

The first stop, once he’s back in the office, is the coffee maker. It feels eerie in the break room with the lights off and the chairs on the tables. There’s a faint smell of disinfectant, probably from somebody mopping the floor after hours. Still, Adachi’s letter smells of coffee, and Kurosawa swears that’s going to be his second favorite smell for the rest of his life. He pockets the letter, not wanting to disturb the neat chairs for a place to sit, and heads back to his desk. It’s probably important to clear all the chocolate off now, while everyone is at home, instead of waiting till the morning.

“Evening,” someone says as he walks through the door, and he jumps. Adachi. Adachi is still here. He blushes involuntarily, thinking of how he’d planned to read the letter at his desk before heading home. Despite his impatience to see what Adachi wrote, that clearly isn’t a good idea.

“Working late?” he asks instead, feeling awkward as he walks over to his own desk.

“Mm. Senpai asked me to wrap up a few things,” Adachi replies, and it feels so natural. It’s almost like Adachi feels comfortable with him, and Kurosawa wishes that were the reality. Probably he’s just not even thinking about the conversation, wishing he could go home or something.

“Oh,” Adachi says, pausing in the middle of packing his things. He picks a small pink bag out from among the things on his desk and jogs over to Kurosawa to hand it to him. Kurosawa’s breath catches. Is he…? Has he somehow figured out that Kurosawa is Someone? Fujisaki warned him that he should be more careful, and he’d been trying, but maybe Adachi had already figured it out by then?

Would that be so bad though? If Adachi was giving him chocolates because he thinks he’s Someone then that means that he thinks he’s Someone and he _likes_ Someone. Or Kurosawa. Either, it doesn’t matter. Maybe both!

“Honda-san from reception asked me to pass these to you,” Adachi says, and it’s like the rip of a needle from vinyl. Ah. It’s not Adachi. Adachi is just the messenger.

 _Well, that’s okay though,_ Kurosawa thinks to himself, _That just means he hasn’t figured out I’m Someone. My secret is safe._ He doesn’t think too hard about why he’s so disappointed at that thought.

“Thank you,” Kurosawa accepts, and his heart squeezes at the way Adachi refuses to look him in the eye. He hopes that someday Adachi will get so used to him being around that he’ll get to look into those beautiful deep brown eyes directly. Maybe even tell him that they’re beautiful.

He’s so caught up in his feelings that when Adachi tries to say goodnight, Kurosawa stops him. Scrambling for a reason, he decides quickly that the chocolates he picked up earlier could be separate from Someone. He wants so badly for Adachi to notice _him_ , as _Kurosawa_ , not as Someone, and maybe a direct gift would do that better than anything else. Still, he’s a little too shy to hand them over properly, so he lightly tosses the bag across the room.

“Really?” Adachi says, delight spreading across his face.

“Mm. I’m not a huge fan of sweet things anyway, and, well,” Kurosawa gestures at his desk, “It’s probably going to take me all year to get through these. You have it.”

“Thank you!” Adachi exclaims, and even though he leaves, the warm glow of his smile envelopes Kurosawa all the way home.

* * *

_Dear Someone,_

_Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! I don’t know whether it would be appropriate for you to receive chocolate or not today, but if you are expecting some, I hope you get it. And if you’re expecting to give some, I hope you can give it. I’ve never really participated in Valentine’s day myself. Mom usually gave me some chocolate, and I got obligatory chocolates from my classmates, of course. But I don’t really count any of that, and now that I’m not living with Mom it’s just the obligatory chocolates anyway._

_The snow the other day was beautiful, wasn’t it? I love it when it snows like that, big flakes that make it look like we’re in a snow globe. It’s really too bad that it didn’t stick around for very long, even though I know that the snow sticking just makes for a sloppy mess of slush on the side of the roads. Your adventures in snow with your sister sound really nice, actually. We never traveled to anywhere that was more prone to snow, so I never got that experience. Besides, with just Mom I don’t think we’d have played the way you did with your sister. I suppose maybe when I was really little, but both Mom and I are quiet homebodies - we’d rather be indoors with a nice pot of hot tea and a book to read._

_I don’t mean to be harsh to Chief Yamamoto! I think he’s strict, but fair, and unfailingly honest. And that means that I don’t like his decisions sometimes, but that’s okay. It’s his job to make sure the company runs smoothly._

_Chief Toba, on the other hand, is all about customer service, so even though I don’t work with him directly, I get the sense that he’s much kinder. He smiles a lot more anyways. I don’t know, what do you think?_

_I’m struggling a little bit with what to say about your sister. I’m really sorry for her breakup, that sounds awful. The thing is, I don’t understand why you’re disagreeing with her? No, that’s not the right way to put it, you’re not disagreeing with her, you said that it’s right for her. I just don’t understand how you can under-value yourself so much that you say you’d put up with anything for your partner? You can’t do that, Someone. I don’t talk about what happened to much of anyone, but there’s a reason that it’s just Mom and me, and it has everything to do with Mom making that kind of a decision out of love, and then realizing that that decision was holding her back. After three years of being whatever my father wanted her to be, she realized that she’d stopped being herself, and she left him. It was the hardest thing she ever did. I was still only a year old, but she told me about it later, and she told me I had to learn from her mistakes._

_Anyway, I’m not good with words, but what I’m trying to say here is that you can’t be the perfect person who is exactly what your partner wants and also be yourself. And that would be a shame, because who you are is amazing. You need to be a little bit selfish, and keep the part of you that is you as it is. Isn’t that what your partner fell in love with in the first place?_

_Oh, gosh, that sounds like you already have a partner, which I don’t know if you do. I guess I’m just saying that if it were me I’d hope that what my partner liked about me was the stuff that makes me who I am, not the things that I could do for them. And I hope you get the same, Someone. I have no idea what your love life is like, but I honestly hope everyone gets to experience that once. _

_Look at me, drawing on my Mom’s old shoujo for ideas on romance. It’s not like I have any idea what real romance looks like. I’ve never even had a date with anyone, much less a relationship. I couldn’t have less of an idea what real romance is like if I tried. But the romance mangas always make it seem so nice, you know? I can’t imagine anyone being specifically attracted to me, but at the same time, if they were, I would rather they actually knew me and liked me anyway, you know? Rather than liking this idea of me?_

_This has gotten so far away from the original topic. I’m sorry for your sister. Even if she’s the one doing the breaking up, it sucks that it’s on Valentine’s Day. I hope she’s ok._

_Yeah, okay, this letter is weird, and I’m gonna end it there before I give in to my instincts and throw it away and start over._

_Your Friend,_

_Adachi_

Kurosawa thumbs the corner of the letter thoughtfully, enjoying the prick of pain from the point jabbing into his skin. Adachi says his letter is weird, and in a way it is, but at the same time, it feels… open. Like Adachi is trusting him with something personal. It feels good, he thinks, but the advice feels strange. It’s like Adachi is telling him _not_ to be whatever Adachi needs him to be which feels _wrong_ somehow. How else can he prove that he loves him?

Kurosawa sighs and folds the letter back up carefully before tucking it inside the green box to reread later. He has a lot to think about.


	5. April, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurosawa visits his family for Golden Week, but he's not the only one traveling to Gunma. Meanwhile, Yuzuki has a revelation to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz). This one was a little harder than some chapters, and she helped bounce ideas around early in the process, as well as beta-ing!

_Dear Someone,_

_Can you believe it’s Golden Week already? Seems like we were only just taking a break for New Years. I still don’t enjoy the thought of taking the time off from writing, but I’ll be out of town anyways. Mom has gotten us a hotel up in Gunma. We’ve never been there, but we’re hoping we can find some places that aren’t too crowded with tourists. What are your plans for Golden Week? Will you be spending time with your family? Gosh, I hope you’re not going to be stuck at the office for the couple days I’m not there, then I’d feel horrible. If you are, though, I’m sorry I won’t be there to cheer you up for having to work when everyone else is out. _

_The last few weeks have been so dull that a part of me is looking forward to the change. Tsuge is busy with his latest novel - he’s got a deadline in two weeks, and deadlines are basically the only thing that can get him to work regularly on editing. If he’s writing something new, good luck getting him to stop to eat or sleep. But once something is written, he just moves on, as if it doesn’t matter anymore. His editor has even called me on occasion to go over and pester him to get edits done, but I guess it’s not that dire yet this time. I’ll admit that it’s fun when I get to do it, though. Whenever that happens, I go over to Tsuge’s, pick something off his shelves to read, and sit on the couch supervising to be sure he’s actually working all day. I don’t think it actually changes anything, but apparently having somebody watching him is enough to get him moving. I don’t do it too often, though, since I can only do that on weekends, and his editor only gets me involved when the deadline situation is dire. Otherwise, I’m under orders to just leave him alone, no matter what. _

_Actually, I was kind of between things this last weekend, and I got out my sketchbook. It’s been a really long time since I did any sketching seriously, but I don’t know, I felt like it I guess? I never did any actual sketching during Cherry Blossom season, since I was busy writing to you. Anyway, since it had been so long, I decided to get it out and try to sketch. I didn’t really have any good subjects, so I just did some warm ups, and then I decided to try my hand at redrawing some of the panels from Ragna Crimson, just as practice. They turned out okay, I guess. I mean, it’s not like I was drawing to show anyone else, so I didn’t clean them up or anything. But it was nice getting to draw again. Maybe I can get back in the habit, and do something more serious soon._

_It’s weird, actually, I had the strangest impulse to try and draw you. I don’t know how I would have done that since I have no idea who you are. But I wanted to try._

_Sorry, was that weird? I don’t want it to be weird. I used to draw all my friends in high school. Well, all two of them, ha. It was good practice. I did a lot in art class back then._

_Anyway, that’s enough for now, I hope you have a good Golden Week, and I’ll tell you all about my trip to Gunma when I get back._

_Yours,_

_Adachi_

Kurosawa refolds the letter and tucks it into the folder he’d brought for Adachi’s letters. He’d picked out only his favorites to bring on this trip, plus the one he’d received yesterday, and hidden them in a Toyokawa branded folder so that it would look to Yuzuki like he’d just brought home some work with him. He’d thought that reading Adachi’s letter once he’d left for vacation would make the pain of taking a whole week off a little easier, but discovered as soon as he got to his parents’ place that he didn’t have the patience to actually do that. And, as it turned out, even that had been too long to wait, because this letter told him that Adachi was not just taking vacation, he would be vacationing in _Gunma_. Where Kurosawa’s parents live. Where Kurosawa is now.

Luckily they weren’t planning to do any tourist type things, since it is where they’d been living for thirty-five years now, but if Yuzuki got wind of Adachi being in town, she would stop at _nothing_ to drag Kurosawa out to all the prominent attractions in town and ask him if every thirty-year-old looking man was Adachi. That could _not_ happen.

Just to be sure, he stuffs the folder into the drawer of his desk. Then, he pulls it back out and shoves it between two books on his shelves. It sticks out too much there, though, so instead he lifts the mattress and slides it between the mattress and the bedframe. Surely Yuzuki won’t think to look there.

The door to the next room slams, announcing Yuzuki’s arrival. Well, he’d gotten the folder hidden not a minute too soon, because… three, two, one, and sure enough, the door to his room slams open and Yuzuki takes a running flop onto his bed. He schools his thoughts carefully, trying not to let any hint of his panic at Adachi being in the same town as him show on his face.

Suddenly he notices a flash of pale pinkish-white at his feet. The cherry blossom Adachi gave him! It had been a month, and while he’d not quite been carrying it with him everywhere, it had become too much of a good luck charm for him to leave it at home. He’d tucked it into the folder, but it must have fallen out while he was considering the best hiding places. His eyes dart up to see if Yuzuki has seen it yet, but her eyes are buried in her phone, and she has a slight smile on her face. He considers a moment, and then stoops to pick it up, slipping it into his pocket. He’d just have to remember to take it out before putting this hoodie in the wash. He could do that.

“What was that?” Yuzuki asks, not even looking up from her phone.

“Oh, uh, nothing,” Kurosawa insists, “just a scrap of paper or something, it was here when I got here.” He makes a show of going over to the trash can and “dropping” it in, hoping that Yuzuki is too absorbed in her phone to notice that there’s nothing actually in his hand. Then he comes back across the room and unzips the suitcase he’d been ignoring on his bed to read Adachi’s letter. He lays out a stack of undershirts, and then reaches for the jeans to smooth out and hang in the closet.

“How’s unpacking?” she asks, rifling through the stack of undershirts that he’s just laid out.

“It’d be easier without you around,” he says, but she just ignores him.

“Are you gonna be writing letters while you’re here?”

“Aneki! Not everything in my life revolves around Adachi.”

She rolls over to her side to look at him pointedly.

“I- Not _every_ thing…”

“Uh huh. So are you?”

“Yes,” and Kurosawa wishes he could keep his ears from turning red.

“So things are still going well then?”

“Well enough, I guess.”

Kurosawa pulls a hoodie out from the suitcase and refolds it before putting it in the top drawer of his dresser. Really, it feels silly to have an empty dresser in the room, now that he’s moved all his clothes to his own apartment, but if Mom got rid of it, then where would the row of trophies on top go? Meanwhile Aneki rolls around on his bed, smiling at something on her phone. He pauses on his way back over. He knows that smile.

“So who are _you_ talking to?” he asks, trying to sound nonchalant so that she’ll tell him about her latest crush without thinking about it. It really isn’t fair of her to not have a crush while pestering him about his.

“Oh, just a friend.”

“A friend, huh?” he asks, and her smile widens as Line dings again.

“Mmhm!” She bites her lower lip, tapping on the screen to write her reply. Kurosawa tiptoes nearer, and reaches to take her phone out of her hand. She yanks it away and rolls over.

“Hey!”

“A friend I know?” Kurosawa asks, caught out.

“No,” she says, trying to swallow her smile.

“A new friend, then?” He raises an eyebrow, giving her his best, most challenging teasing look. She rolls her lips inwards and glances to one side.

“Maybe,” she says finally, “But I’m not telling you anything.”

“Aneki! You’ve been making fun of me over Adachi for _forever_ and at least half that time you’ve been with someone!”

“So?! Doesn’t mean I _owe_ you a crush to tease me about!”

“So there _is_ a crush!” he says, triumphant, and Yuzuki slouches back down, pouting. Her back immediately straightens when another Line ding comes through and she goes back to typing on her phone. This time it’s closer, so when Kurosawa grabs it from her fingers, there’s nothing she can do.

“Mikami? Who’s Mikami?” he asks.

“Nobody!”

“Fine. What’s his first name? You know Adachi’s, it’s only fair,” he argues. She thinks for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“ _Her_ name is Hana,” she says in a rush, squeezing her eyes shut. Kurosawa just smiles softly. So _that’s_ why she’s being so evasive. The last time she’d had a crush, when it was Katsuki and Kurosawa had just gotten out of college, she hadn’t been able to shut up about him. He’d been wondering if it was because she’d broken up with Katsuki only a few months ago, or because she’d matured (as if Yuzuki would ever mature), but no. She’s coming out.

“That’s wonderful, Aneki,” he says softly, aware that she probably doesn’t want their parents to hear. He sits next to her on the bed, and hands her her phone back, “Tell me about her?”

Yuzuki smiles back at him, looking grateful that he’s taking this so well.

“There’s not much to tell yet, really? I don’t know. She works at the place I go for coffee every morning, and I’d always thought that she was so beautiful, and her smile is-- it’s blindingly bright, honestly, it can light up my whole day. And, I don’t know, I never wanted to bother her, it’s her job to smile at me, you know? But after Katsuki, I ended up there a couple of times when she was on an evening shift, and she noticed I was in kind of a mood, and she gave me free coffee a couple of times? So…” she lets out a giant sigh in a whoosh, “I got her Line, and we’ve been talking. I don’t know if it’s anything yet, but. I like her,” she smiles, and buries her face in her hands, “I like her a lot.”

“That’s amazing! And you managed it _without_ pining for seven years like a doof!”

Yuzuki giggles, elbowing him in the side gently.

“Yeah, I think- I think maybe it is. It feels so weird telling anyone,” she says, giddiness creeping into her voice.

“I know what you mean,” he says, “Remember the day I told you about Adachi?”

Her smile falls a little, as she remembers.

“You were so nervous,” she says, “I knew there was something up, and you wouldn’t tell me what it was for forever.”

“I hadn’t really figured out what it was yet. I wasn’t even sure I was ready to tell you that I was gay, but I wanted to tell somebody, you know? And who better to tell than my big sister?” He gave her a lopsided smile and nudged her shoulder gently. She smiled back.

“You know, I’d known since high school that I was gay but I never thought it was important to tell you since I didn’t have a boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I never understood why all the rest of the guys on the swim team wanted to look at the girls when they had plenty to look at right there. Here’s your sign, I guess.”

Yuzuki chuckles a little, “I never would have known.”

“Yeah, well. I got good at being what people needed me to be.”

“I was never very good at that, was I?” she asks.

“You were good at being my big sister, which is what _I_ needed.”

She nods, and then her phone dings, and she jumps.

“Go ahead,” he says, gesturing towards her phone, “I’m happy for you.” She flashes a quick smile and buries her nose in her phone again. Kurosawa stands up, pulling the last few pairs of jeans out of his suitcase to fold and put away.

* * *

The week goes quicker than Kurosawa expects, and before he knows it, it’s the last day before heading back and he still hasn’t written to Adachi. Of course, this is in part because every time he sits down to write Yuzuki materializes out of nowhere to snoop on what he’s doing. A few times she’d even appeared just as he pulled out the folder of letters from its hiding spot, and in his panic he’d told her that they were letters of commendation from his boss. She didn’t believe that for a second, he could tell, but she dropped it. Probably because she was planning to come and snoop in his room the moment he wasn’t there. With that in mind, he’d taken to carrying the letters in his briefcase, and carrying the briefcase with him everywhere. Mom had given him some funny looks, but didn’t ask questions, and Yuzuki couldn’t pester him about it in front of their parents.

But tonight, Yuzuki is out with some high school friends, grabbing one last beer together before they all scatter back to their respective jobs, and Mom and Dad are watching an old movie on television, so Kurosawa should finally, _finally_ , have some peace and quiet to write to Adachi.

_Dear Adachi,_

_How was your Golden Week? I don’t know about you, but for me the week dragged terribly. My family insisted that I come home, but then didn’t plan anything special, other than me cooking for them. Don’t get me wrong, I love cooking and I’m happy to do it. But the rest of the time I was bored out of my mind. There wasn’t even a new volume of Ragna Crimson to read!_

_The only highlight, and I can barely call it that, was seeing Aneki. She still has it in her head that I have a crush and spent a lot of the week pestering me to tell her about said crush, but this time, at least, she has a crush I can tease her about. Apparently her barista is a lovely woman and they’ve been talking over Line for a good month. Aneki is still a little too shy to ask her out, since that’s a little more complicated by their genders, but I think she’ll get there. She’s a pretty confident person, and she’s used to asking for what she wants. And if you ask me? I think this girl will say yes._

Just then the door to his room bangs open, and Yuzuki barges in. Kurosawa jumps, and attempts to hide both Adachi’s letter and his own unfinished one under the folder.

“Do you never _knock_?” he asks, exasperated.

“Why would I knock when I can catch you writing letters if I don’t?” she asks in return, tugging Adachi’s letter out by the corner that sticks out from under the folder. Kurosawa reaches to grab it, but misses.

“When did you get back anyway?”

“Mmm?” Yuzuki asks, not even looking up from Adachi’s letter, “Oh I could tell you were trying to keep me away from the letters, so I just said I was going out so you’d let your guard down.”

“ _Aneki!_ ”

“What?” she giggles, “It worked!” Kurosawa huffs, and leans over to grab the letter back from her, but she won’t let go. Unwilling to tear it, he gives up. Yuzuki keeps reading.

“Oh man, this guy totally has a crush on you,” she says, laughter threatening to leak out behind her words.

“He has a crush on _Someone_ , that’s different. Wait, no, that’s not what I meant. He _doesn’t_ have a crush on Someone!”

“You’re Someone. You just have to tell him. Also, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me he was _here_ all week!”

“And if I told you, what would you have done?”

“We’d have gone out to find him, of course! Tell him you’re Someone and then you could make out with your _boyfriend_.”

“Gee, I wonder why I didn’t tell you.”

Yuzuki’s eyes flick up from the letter, studying his expression.

“Okay,” she admits, “You’re right, that’s probably a bit too far. But really, Yuichi, you’ve gotta tell him. He wants to _draw_ you,” she pauses dramatically and then snickers, “Like a French girl.”

“Aneki!”

Yuzuki holds up her hands. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Well, stop making the jokes. But _seriously_. You’ve gotta tell him.”

“No, I don’t. He’s happy like this. I’m, I’m happy like this-”

“Are you?”

“I’m happy if he’s happy.”

“How do you know if he’s happy, if you don’t ask him?”

“I-” Kurosawa starts, but then realizes he doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t know if Adachi is happy with this. He assumes he is, because he keeps writing. But could Adachi want more? He shakes his head.

“I was the one who asked him to write. I can’t ask him for more.”

“You mean he’s never _once_ asked who you are?” she asks pointedly.

“I- not since the very first letter--”

“And he hasn’t done anything to try and figure out who you were?”

“I don’t think so?”

Yuzuki snorts.

“Alright, let’s say I believe you, which, I think if I went through that stack of letters,” she says, gesturing to his Toyokawa folder, “I’d find evidence otherwise. But let’s say I believe you. Wouldn’t it be better to have the truth out than to never tell him? This was supposed to be a stepping stone on the _way_ to telling him you like him. You’ve been stuck on this stone for months now. What’s stopping you?”

What _is_ stopping him? He’s not really sure. He and Adachi have been getting along fine, and the letters have been wonderful. Adachi has even said that he doesn’t want to give them up. What’s wrong with telling him who he is and that nothing has to change if he doesn’t want it to?

“I guess I’m just not ready,” he says finally. Yuzuki studies him for a few moments.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“Okay. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. But you should keep thinking about it.” Yuzuki stands, drops Adachi’s letter on the desk, and then pats Kurosawa on the shoulder before heading back out the door.

It takes Kurosawa a long time to finish writing that night, and in the end he decides not to tell Adachi who he is. Still, now that Yuzuki has brought it up, he can’t get the idea out of his head. This is going to take some thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it halfway! Exciting, no? Stick around - I have lots more fun planned!
> 
> In the meantime, the lovely [@zakuromochi](https://zakuromochi.tumblr.com/) has done ANOTHER art for this series - Kurosawa's fantasy of Adachi on his gameboy. Isn't it cute?!!  
> 


	6. August, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurosawa overhears some things at a party, and can't decide what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) who provided an excellent beta yet again, as well as some plot ideas!

It’s mid-morning on a Wednesday, and Kurosawa has just come out of the biggest meeting of his life. This client represents three different resellers, two of which are in the market for a new stationery supplier. Kurosawa had practiced his opening speech several times last night, and it had gone off without a hitch. He’d had the man practically eating out of his palm, and at the end, he’d signed a contract for one of the two companies, and implied that the other would be following suit soon.

He breathes a sigh of relief as soon as the elevator doors close behind the man, and heads back to the office, discreetly placing the signed contract on the Chief’s desk before grabbing his coffee cup off his own desk for a refill. It was a bit early yet for Adachi to have written back, but there’s always a chance. Besides, it feels like today is going to be his day. He’s not sure why.

He’s mildly disappointed to find nothing under the coffee maker, but he’s determined not to let that bring his mood down. Adachi just hasn’t had time to write back. He’d only left the note at his desk a few hours ago, after all.

It had been a good letter. Their letters have been getting more and more familiar, particularly since the talk he’d had with Yuzuki the last time he’d gone home. He hadn’t quite brought himself to tell Adachi who he is, yet, but he’d been less careful about the details of his life since then. In fact, he’d been so careless that just earlier this week he’d accidentally signed his name instead of “Someone.” Normally if he messes up these days he just leaves it, but that was a big enough mistake that he’d rewritten the entire last page of the letter so that he could sign it correctly. He’d almost considered leaving it, for half a second, but telling Adachi outright, and so casually, after nearly a year of anonymous letters feels wrong.

He doesn’t really want to admit it, but a part of him hopes that if he drops enough hints, Adachi will suddenly realize it’s him. It feels more romantic, somehow, if Adachi hears that final hint and everything just falls into place, and he realizes that he’s loved Kurosawa all along, and--

Lost in his thoughts, he nearly collides with someone exiting the storeroom, a large sheaf of papers in hand.

“Oh! Sorry!” he exclaims, kneeling and setting his coffee cup on the floor to help scoop up papers. Long delicate fingers join his on the floor, and he recognizes them. His eyes dart up, and sure enough, it’s Adachi.

“No, no, it’s my fault,” Adachi mumbles, not meeting his eyes. His bangs drift over his eyes, hiding them from view, and Kurosawa wishes he could put a finger under his chin to make him look up. But to Adachi they’re just colleagues, not penpals and best friends, and the gesture would surely scare him.

“No, really,” Kurosawa says, holding out the last few papers that had fallen at his feet, “I wasn’t watching where I was going. Too lost in thought. It’s my fault.” He smiles, trying to put Adachi at ease, but Adachi just looks up at him and squints. Kurosawa blinks a few times, before retrieving his coffee cup and heading back to his desk. The encounter just emphasized the fact that despite the closeness of their letters, the distance between him and Adachi had never really gone away, not in a way that mattered. It had never quite felt so vast, and so insurmountable. Maybe Yuzuki was right, and something needed to change. He can’t just keep being Someone and watching Adachi from across the room.

* * *

Since Kurosawa had closed such a big deal, Chief paid for the entire office to go out for drinks that night. Kurosawa is surprised to see that Adachi is with them - in his afternoon letter, he’d insisted that he would be finding a way to get out of the obligation if he could. Still, Kurosawa is a little glad he hadn’t. Another few hours of time near Adachi felt like just scraps, but he would take them all.

Unfortunately, since he’s the reason this particular party is happening, he doesn’t have any choice about where he sits, and therefore ends up halfway down the table from Adachi. He wishes he could move closer so he could actually talk to him, and maybe have a real, honest conversation with him. Let him get used to talking to Kurosawa, and maybe start to realize that talking to him is just as comfortable as talking to Someone. And even if that’s too much to ask, then he could be close by to contribute to conversations where Adachi feels uncomfortable, maybe rescue him from awkward situations.

Still, from where he sits, two seats down and across, he feels ultra-aware of Adachi. He’s paying attention to the people around him, of course, and accepting their praises where appropriate, but he doesn’t start any conversations himself, content to sit quietly and listen, on the off-chance he’ll hear something from Adachi’s end of the table. So far, he’s just been in quiet conversation with Fujisaki, and Kurosawa can’t quite hear what they’re talking about. Does Adachi like Fujisaki? Is that why the two are talking so quietly together? Sure, Fujisaki says she’s rooting for him, but she can’t help it if Adachi falls for her instead. He can’t detect any particular fondness on Adachi’s face, but he’s not that expressive when it’s not about food anyway. And maybe he _does_ like Fujisaki and is trying to hide it from the rest of the office? He’d never said so specifically, but Adachi doesn’t seem like the type to want--

“Hey, Adachi!” Urabe says loudly, “I hear you’ve never had a girlfriend is that true?” Kurosawa feels the worry already spiraling in his chest tighten into a hard knot. There’s no way that Urabe could have known the direction of his thoughts, but Kurosawa feels called out anyway. There’s a surge of irrational anger in his chest at Urabe’s rude forthrightness, and at the same time, it feels as if Adachi is suddenly the only person he can hear in the entire bar, and Kurosawa is desperately waiting for his answer.

“Oh, uh. Yeah,” Adachi mutters. Kurosawa’s heart soars. He probably could have guessed that Adachi hadn’t had any relationships before, but Adachi’s answer suggests that he doesn’t have one now either, and that means that Kurosawa has a chance.

“Seriously? Oh dude, you gotta let me help you, I’m a great wingman. I can fix you up with someone _real_ nice, I promise.”

Kurosawa coughs into his napkin a little, considering making a scene just to get Urabe to stop pestering Adachi.

“Oh that’s ok, you really don’t have to.”

“Hey, Fujisaki, you could go out with him!”

That really _is_ too far, and Kurosawa sets down his chopsticks, ready to-- well he’s not sure what he’s going to do but he wants to rescue Adachi somehow. Luckily before he can stand up, Fujisaki demurs politely, claiming she already has a boyfriend, and then Urabe starts to pester her instead of Adachi. Kurosawa’s eyes slide over to Adachi and he can see the tension beginning to leach out of his shoulders as the conversation moves on. Kurosawa takes a few steadying breaths, and returns his attention to the other half of the table.

A few moments later, however, Kurosawa is halfway through yet another humble acceptance of praise, when he hears Adachi’s voice, louder than he’s ever heard it and he pauses involuntarily.

“Please stop! I already have a crush on someone.”

It seems as if the entire room has suddenly begun swaying around him, and Kurosawa forgets to breathe. _He didn’t mean it that way. He didn’t mean the capital letter_ , he tells himself, trying to remember how to breathe.

“Kurosawa?” the woman he’d been speaking with asks, and he comes back to himself rather suddenly.

“Ah, yes, uh, thank you, you’re very kind,” he attempts to cover, and then shoves an entirely too-large bite of karaage into his mouth so that he would not be expected to talk for the next few moments, just in case Adachi says anything else. The conversation moves on around him, and Kurosawa ignores it, focusing in on Adachi’s end of the table.

“You have a crush, huh. Who is it? I’ll help you out.” Kurosawa is pretty sure that’s Urabe again, though the voices are much quieter. He knows that this will at least make Adachi feel less uncomfortable, which he should want, but at the same time he wishes he could reasonably shush the rest of the table so that he could hear what’s going on.

It takes a few moments for Adachi to respond, and when he does his voice is so quiet that Kurosawa has to stop chewing to hear him.

“Look, I don’t know. I… I’ve just been talking to them, ok? I don’t know their name.”

Kurosawa swallows involuntarily, forgetting about the half chewed bite of Karaage in his mouth. It lodges in his throat, and suddenly he can’t breathe for entirely different reasons. He coughs, suddenly and violently, and three different hands reach out with napkins while another pats him on the back. It takes a few moments for him to feel like he can breathe again, and by then, he looks up to find Adachi gone.

* * *

“Come on, Aneki, pick up, pick up, pick up,” Kurosawa mutters, as he paces the space in front of his couch. It’s late, far later than he would have liked, but since the party was for him he’d had a hard time extricating himself. They’d finally left the Izakaya around ten, and by the time he’d gotten home it was 10:30. Still, Yuzuki is the night owl of the family, she should still be up.

“ _What?!_ ” is the response from the other end of the line.

“He has a crush on somebody,” Kurosawa says in a rush.

“I- Wait a second,” Kurosawa hears her say something to someone in the background, before, “Okay, make it quick, I’m on a date.”

“Mikami?”

“I thought you wanted to talk about you?”

“Right. Sorry. Fill me in later though.”

“ _Fine._ Now tell me what’s going on before I hang up this phone and go back to my date, who I will tell you is _much more interesting_ than my little brother.”

“Okay, there was this work thing, and I happened to overhear somebody else trying to fix Adachi up with a date, and--” Kurosawa pauses, trying to remember exactly what Adachi said, “He said he had a crush on somebody, and, I don’t know, something like he doesn’t know who it is? That he’s just been talking to them.”

“What, _seriously?_ ” Yuzuki asks, fully invested now.

“What do I _do,_ Aneki?”

“That’s got to be you!” Yuzuki screeches into the phone, and Kurosawa has to hold it at arm's length until she’s done.

“I mean, it wouldn’t _have_ to be me. What if he’s got a crush on somebody else?”

“Are you kidding me? Somebody else? Who he happens to be having anonymous conversations with?”

“I don’t know what he gets up to on his breaks at work!” Kurosawa says, louder than he really intends to.

“Yeah, you do, he writes to you. It’s got to be you.”

“What if he met somebody on the train? He commutes to work every day and it’s not a short commute.”

“It’s not somebody he met on the train, idiot.”

“I--” Kurosawa wants to argue, but he doesn’t really know how, because she’s making a lot of sense. “Even if it _is_ Someone, which I’m not ready to assume yet, he doesn’t know that _I’m_ Someone. Aneki, I don’t even know if he likes men. What if he takes one look at me, realizes that I’m… me… and runs away.”

“He’s not going to run away, Yuichi. He’s been writing to you for a year, and I told you _months_ ago that he had a crush, based on how he was writing to you. That’s not something that goes away just because you find out that the person you’re crushing on is a different gender than you thought they’d be.”

“Aneki, just because you’re bi doesn’t mean everyone is.”

“I know, and it’s tragic. So what are you going to do about it?” she asks.

“About?”

“What are you going to do about Adachi’s crush?”

“I--” Kurosawa freezes mid-pace. What _is_ he going to do about it? “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Or you’re scared?” she asks.

“I don’t know, okay?” he says, exasperated, “He’s probably already embarrassed at having to say that he has a crush. Me going up to him and saying ‘hey by the way that crush you were talking about is me’ isn’t going to make him feel better.”

The line goes quiet while Yuzuki considers this point.

“Besides,” Kurosawa adds when she doesn’t speak for a few moments, “Until he is ready to come and say _to my face_ that he has a crush _on me,_ I’m not going to assume that I’m who he’s talking about. I’m not that conceited.”

Yuzuki sighs, and then he can hear another voice in the background asking her a question.

“Yeah, be there in a sec,” she calls, presumably to the other voice, “I can’t tell you what to do Yuichi, but I think this is your sign. You need to make your move. I’ve been telling you to tell him who you are for months now. You need to do it.”

“I can’t--”

“Alright, if you can’t just come right out and say it, then tell him to meet you somewhere, I don’t know, ok! I really gotta go,” she says, and then stifles a giggle and a muffled “stop it!” in the background. Kurosawa swallows a mischievous grin out of habit.

“Sounds like your date is going well, huh?” he asks.

“Bye, Yuichi,” she says, before hanging up on him.

Kurosawa stares at the phone in his hand for several minutes before he gets up to go over to his desk. Yuzuki is right. This feels like it’s his chance. Either he tells Adachi who he is now, or he never will.

The letter comes easier than he thought it would. He responds to Adachi’s stories, and rambles a bit about his own summer hobbies. It isn’t until he gets to the end that he realizes he never actually _did_ work in who he is. He pauses, his pen hovering over the space for his signature. Does he continue signing as Someone? Does he dare use his own name?

No, that seems too impersonal. He wants to tell Adachi properly, and if he’s being honest with himself, he wants to see Adachi’s face when he finds out. He needs to know if there’s _any_ hope that his love could be reciprocated one day. He signs as he normally would, and then before he can change his mind, he adds a postscript.

_P.S. I know you were joking about us going to the beach together, but what would you think about actually doing things together?_


	7. September, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a disastrous missed connection, Kurosawa attempts to pick up the pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) for ideas, notes, and making me do it anyway. This one was real hard and I couldn't have done it right without your help.

Kurosawa is waiting in the bakery Adachi had named way back in his first letter, and he’s having trouble holding still as he waits. He’s ordered a pair of croissants and keeps moving Adachi’s around on the table trying to decide how it will look the most inviting. He wishes he’d brought a book or something, but imagines that he’d be too unsettled to read anyway. He’s tempted to get out his phone, but he’s afraid that he’ll miss Adachi if he does.

“Oh Kurosawa-san!” Rokkaku says from the door. For anyone else it would have been a yell, but Rokkaku’s enthusiasm meant that the volume was actually quite normal. Still, Kurosawa jumps.

“Ah, Rokkaku, how did your meeting go?”

“Oh, quite well, actually! Thank you for letting me have a chance to talk to the client on my own!”

Kurosawa privately thinks that he’d only done it because there was literally no way that Rokkaku could have screwed up a basic paperwork signing meeting, but he smiles anyway.

“That’s wonderful to hear! Well, I hope you have a good evening,” Kurosawa says, and Rokkaku finally looks at the table and realizes that there’s an extra croissant.

“Oh, are you waiting for someone? I’ll leave you alone then,” Rokkaku says, and he goes up to the counter to make his own order.

In his pocket, Kurosawa’s phone buzzes. He looks around the bakery and then leans to look down the street out the window - no Adachi in sight, so he pulls his phone out.

Aneki  
  
Good luck. You’ve got this.  
Stop bothering me Aneki  
You’re the one staring at your phone when you should be talking to him.  
He’s not here yet. I wouldn’t have texted back if he was.  
you should just turn your phone off, then you won’t get distracted.  
Fine, stop talking to me.

“Oh Adachi-san!” Kurosawa hears Rokkaku say, and his head jerks up from his phone. Adachi has just come in, and his eyes are trained right on Rokkaku, who is waving brightly from the opposite corner of the shop.

 _No, look at me, please look at me,_ he thinks.

“Rokkaku? If you wanted to be friends, why didn’t you just say so!” Adachi says with a smile, and Kurosawa feels as if his heart has vacated his chest completely. He should stand up. He should go over to Adachi and tell him he’s wrong. He should…

He does none of those things. He can’t. He’d been so sure that just being here was all it would take, that that would be the last hint and Adachi would just immediately know that Kurosawa was Someone all along. They would bond over their croissants and would walk out of this place friends for real.

Instead he’s watching as Adachi sits down with Rokkaku. Rokkaku chatters on about his meetings that day and Adachi nods along, looking perfectly happy to be sitting with Rokkaku instead of Kurosawa, and after just two minutes he can’t take it anymore. He grabs both croissants off the table, throws them in the trash, and leaves.

The walk to his apartment is interminably long. He does most of it by memory, while the image of Adachi and Rokkaku sitting together plays over and over in his mind. Is that really what Adachi wants? A lively, energetic friend who can bring him out of his shell? No, no, that can’t be right, it must have been a mistake. The quiet, reserved Adachi that Kurosawa knows from their letters would never want someone as loud as Rokkaku.

Kurosawa pauses at that thought. Perhaps he doesn’t know Adachi as well as he thought. Letters are not everything, after all. Maybe Adachi revises his letters, keeps his true self at arms length. Maybe the letters meant more to Kurosawa than they ever did to Adachi, and Kurosawa doesn’t really know him at all.

He shakes his head. That can’t be true either, at least not completely. Adachi _is_ quiet and reserved, and he didn’t need the letters to know that. Even so, maybe Rokkaku is the kind of person Adachi would prefer - he could help Adachi grow in ways that Kurosawa might not be able to.

The most frustrating thing, though, and the thing that he keeps coming back to, is that the moment he got a chance to prove his love to Adachi, he made a fatal mistake that meant they never even got to meet. He assumed that after a year of writing letters Adachi would just _know_. Their eyes would meet across the room, and there would be that heart-squeezing moment of recognition, and the heavens would open, and choirs would sing, and it would be so _romantic_. He hadn’t planned for Rokkaku, or for a misunderstanding. He had failed to make their first meeting perfect.

By the time Kurosawa gets back to his apartment he’s in a daze. He shuffles his shoes off but doesn’t bother with slippers, and trudges over to his desk, dropping his briefcase on the floor. He slumps into the chair. Then, in a moment of weakness he pulls out a sheet of paper, and begins to write a letter.

After just one sentence, he crumples it up and throws it in the trash. Too desperate. Too raw.

Even so, he alternates between attempting to write letters and losing himself in his thoughts most of the evening. One of them is even halfway to a real letter, before he accidentally says he loves Adachi and has to throw that one away too. He cannot decide whether to beg Adachi’s forgiveness, or scold him for making a mistake. His emotions are in such turmoil that he’s not even sure he can even write something he could send tonight.

Finally, around midnight, he thinks to turn his phone back on. There are fifteen missed texts from his sister, mostly congratulating him on a date that’s lasting so long, teasing him about “moving fast.” He rolls his eyes at her insinuations. As if he would have jeopardized the fragile relationship they’ve been building by pushing for such things too fast. Then he sighs. No, he just jeopardized it by being too in love to realize his mistake.

He dashes off a quick _Nothing happened_ and then crawls into bed, doing his best to hold back tears.

* * *

The next morning, for the first time in years Kurosawa calls in sick to work. He cannot face Adachi yet. If he saw him the entire thing would be written all over his face, and he is not prepared for the consequences of that yet. Besides, he needs time to come up with a plan, to figure out what he’s going to do now that his role as Someone is over. He drifts through his apartment, not really doing anything as he’s thinking. He makes breakfast, because he knows he should, but stops halfway through because after tossing and turning all night, he doesn’t have enough energy to do more than start the rice cooker. Plain rice is fine, though, because he’s too busy thinking to taste anything anyway.

By mid-morning he feels like he’s been throwing his brain against a brick wall, but is no closer to any ideas. He thinks maybe he should do something, just to take his mind off things. He turns on the television and flops onto the couch. There’s nothing on, but having the movement on the screen for his eyes to follow is at least something, and then noise dulls the ever-churning static in his head.

Sometime after the third or fourth program ends, he’s lost track, his phone rings.

“What do you mean, nothing happened?” Yuzuki yells from the other end of the phone.

“Ah. Lunch break?”

“Yuichi, you tell me right now what happened last night, and why I didn’t get fifteen texts about how amazing your date was, or-”

“I fucked up, Aneki,” he interrupts her, “I fucked up, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“What?”

“There was another of our colleagues there, and I don’t know why but he assumed it was him, and I froze. I couldn’t- I didn’t- And so I left.”

“Oh, Yuichi,” she says softly.

“It’s okay! Really, this is good, he’ll be better-”

“I’m coming over,” Yuzuki interrupts him, and the line goes dead before he can argue with her.

Fifteen minute later the doorbell buzzes, and he heaves himself off the couch to go answer it. Yuzuki stands on the doorstep, dressed in her work clothes and coat, a tub of ice cream under one arm.

“What’s this?” he asks.

“Oh, one of my American roommates swore by it every time she broke up with someone, just a tub of ice cream and a spoon.”

“But, I haven’t broken up with anyone…” he protests.

“Haven’t you? Good, more for me,” she says, pushing by him into the rest of the house.

“Wait, did you break up with Mikami?” he calls after her, pulling the door shut.

“No, I just like ice cream.”

Kurosawa smiles faintly at his sister’s typical honesty. Then he marvels at the fact that he can smile, even after everything that’s happened in the last day.

He rounds the corner to the living area to find Yuzuki digging through his silverware drawer for spoons. She sticks one in her mouth and holds the other out to him.

“So, start from the beginning,” she prompts.

“Well, we were supposed to meet at this bakery he likes. I figured if he was somewhere he’s been often he’d be more comfortable, you know? And I got him his favorite pastry that he likes, and I had everything perfect. And then this colleague of ours, my junior, I think I’ve told you about him, actually? He showed up, and we chatted for a few minutes. And then I was talking to you, so I missed Adachi coming in, and Rokkaku caught his attention and then he just… sat down with him. I couldn’t interrupt them, so I left, and then… well…”

“You stayed home to mope?”

“No! I stayed home to come up with a plan to fix my mistake!”

“Oh. How’s that going for you?” she asks. He shifts in his seat.

“Not great.”

“That’s what I thought. Come on,” she says, “this calls for some fun.”

“I’m not in the mood for fun, Aneki.”

“Call it distraction, then. You’re coming over to my place.”

“What about work? You can’t just-”

“I’ll call in sick, it’ll be fine. Come on, we’re going,” she calls over her shoulder as she walks back to his bedroom.

“I- what are you doing?”

“Getting you a change of clothes, you’re not staying by yourself tonight.”

“Aneki!”

But no amount of arguing with her would work when she gets like this. In the end, Kurosawa finds himself at Yuzuki’s apartment.

* * *

The next morning, both he and Yuzuki call in sick to work again. They’d spent the entire previous afternoon just watching terrible movies and laughing at them together. It had done wonders for Kurosawa’s mood, but nothing for planning his next move. Before they went to bed Yuzuki had suggested another day off, just to get a little distance and perspective, and Kurosawa was happy to agree.

Even so, it was lunchtime before they even broached the subject.

“So, what are you going to do?” Yuzuki asks, over their bowls of instant ramen, the only meals she has in her apartment.

“About?”

“About Adachi.”

“Oh,” he says, returning to his bowl of ramen and slurping up a big bit of noodles.

“The whole point of taking days off was to figure out what to do,” she pushes.

“I don’t _know_ , Aneki. The whole thing is just a mess. I screwed up.”

“Did you?”

“Yes! I assumed he would just… somehow know it was me! I didn’t plan for Rokkaku to-”

“You can’t plan for everything, Yuichi. That’s not how life works.”

“I know, but I should’ve-”

“Look,” Yuzuki says with a sigh, “I know your perfectionism is telling you this is all your fault. But it’s not. It’s not anybody’s fault. Sometimes things don’t work out.”

“I-” Kurosawa wants to argue with her, but he can’t really. It feels like it’s his fault, but logically she’s right. And as much as he wants to blame himself, for not being enough, for not being _good enough_ , logically he knows that’s not fair to himself.

Doesn’t make it hurt less though.

“And,” she continues, “it doesn’t mean that the _whole thing_ didn’t work out. It just means this particular meetup didn’t. So. What are you going to do?”

“I- I suppose I’ll have to see what he does. If he thinks that Rokkaku is Someone, then who am I to interfere? If that’s what he wants…”

“Did he tell you that’s what he wants?”

“I- no.”

“And if it’s not what he wants, then what?” her questions are insistent and sometimes Kurosawa wishes that she was just a little _less_ good at being right.

“I don’t know,” he admits finally, “if he thinks he’s been writing to Rokkaku, and he’s happy with that, then…”

Yuzuki studies him for a minute.

“It just sounds to me like you’re asking him to make a choice without even knowing what the second option is,” she says finally. There’s a pause, and then, “You. You’re the second option.”

“I guess…”

“So, _you_ should write to _him._ ”

“I- What? No! It’s his turn. I’ve never written to him twice between his letters, I can’t do that.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

Kurosawa thinks and then mutters, “Does it matter?”

“No, you’re right it doesn’t. Okay, fine. You won’t write to him unless he writes to you first. But I still think you should start working on a real relationship. One that’s not on paper.”

Kurosawa grimaces. It’s not that she’s wrong, exactly - in fact she’s right. But if Adachi doesn’t write back, then he shouldn’t do that while hoping for a relationship. It’s not fair to Adachi. Still, she’s got a point, and maybe he can take a few weeks to get over his crush and _then_ start working on a friendship with Adachi.

“Ok. Thanks,” he says with a slight nod, “for cheering me up. I think I’m ready to face him now.”

“What are big sisters for?” she says, smiling up at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The messaging skin was based on [this template](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19150123/chapters/45514369).


	8. October, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurosawa attempts to talk to Adachi. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late, this past week was real rough for me.
> 
> Many thanks as always to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) for holding my hand through the difficulties of writing (and for Beta-ing too).

It takes Kurosawa the better part of a week to work himself up to talking to Adachi in person. After planning with his sister, he decided that the only way to do this fairly was to forget everything he’d ever learned about Adachi as Someone. He allowed himself one last night with Adachi’s letters, going through each and every one to say goodbye. Then, when he was done, he folded them carefully, replaced them in their boxes, and tied them shut tightly before placing them under his bed. He would not look at them again unless Adachi somehow figures out Kurosawa is someone, or it becomes clear that Kurosawa has no hope either way.

After _that_ it takes another few days to get over his instinct to pull the letters back out and give up on his resolve. He needs to be sure that one interaction with Adachi won’t have him desperately pulling the letters back out, and putting Adachi at a disadvantage. He will do this _right_ or he won’t do it at all. And so, he decides, he’ll take this first week to just get some distance, and get over the part of Adachi that he doesn’t have anymore.

That plan goes fairly well for the rest of the week - in fact Kurosawa barely sees Adachi to test his resolve. The evenings are harder, and on Thursday he actually pulls out the first box of letters from its hiding spot. He sets it on the bed, but then backs away to keep himself from opening it. Just looking at the box is enough.

After what seems like only a few minutes, but what the clock says is two hours, he shakes his head and puts the box away. Clearly he’s not ready. He can’t approach Adachi until he’s ready to really give up the Adachi in those boxes. But, the fact that he was able to stop himself from opening them is promising. He makes a deal with himself that if he can keep himself from getting out the boxes all weekend, then he can try and talk to Adachi on Monday. By Friday morning, he’s feeling confident that he can do that, and he’s looking forward to coming up with a way to approach Adachi on Monday over the weekend that won’t be too overwhelming, and won’t tip Adachi off to the fact that he’s been pining over him for seven years.

And then, middle of the afternoon on Friday, the perfect excuse to talk to Adachi falls in his lap. He’s preparing to meet with a major potential client next week, one that has previously gone with another company but decided that they were unsatisfied with their products. Kurosawa had not been in charge of the meeting then, he’d been too junior still, but now he has a chance to convince them. He’s been offered every department’s support, and the head of Sales has just instructed him to talk to Adachi’s department to get the latest sales data. This is his chance.

His hands shake as he walks over, but he just slips them in his pockets and wills them still. Now is not the time for nerves.

“Hey Adachi, can you help me with something?” he asks as he approaches. Adachi startles, but then nods his consent.

“Chief has just asked me to gather the recent sales data to help make our case to a major client, and I’m a little lost,” he says, rather quicker than he intends to, “Can you help me?”

“Oh, um, Fujisaki is better at explaining that kind of thing than I am, I’ll just confuse you more, you should ask her,” Adachi protests. Kurosawa opens his mouth to reassure Adachi that he wants _Adachi_ to do it, but Adachi is already calling Fujisaki over. Kurosawa shifts uncomfortably. Sure, Fujisaki once said she was on his side, but she doesn’t know that he’s just trying to be friends with Adachi now, and if she pushes too hard… He stares at her doing his best attempt at expressing all of this with just his face, and hopes she gets the idea.

“How can I help?” she asks.

“Kurosawa here needs the sales data from the last- How long did you say again?”

“Oh, uh, a year or so should do,” Kurosawa says.

“The last year. You’ve been running those numbers, haven’t you? Can you help him?” Adachi asks, and it’s amazing the difference when Adachi is talking about work - he’s quiet and still not the most confident, but he rarely stutters. Kurosawa wishes he knew how to make Adachi feel that comfortable with himself all the time, but- no. _No._ Those kinds of thoughts are for people who have crushes, and Kurosawa is getting _over_ this crush if it kills him, dammit.

Fujisaki looks between the two of them and smiles faintly.

“I’m actually a little busy…” she begins.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Kurosawa rushes to say, “I’m sure Adachi will do a fine job.”

“Is it urgent?” Adachi asks.

“No, I mean, the meeting is next week, but it can wait a little,” Kurosawa says, hoping that allowing Adachi to pick a time frame will make him feel more comfortable.

“Well, then you can wait until Fujisaki is free,” Adachi says with a nod, and swivels back in his chair to face his laptop. Kurosawa stares at the back of his head for a few moments before looking up at Fujisaki, who just shrugs and gives Kurosawa a little half smile that says _Sorry, I tried._

* * *

Kurosawa spends the weekend trying to come up with plans for approaching Adachi. Clearly going in without a very specific plan to make it obvious that he wants to talk to Adachi is not going to work, because he did that on Friday and ended up foisted off on Fujisaki without so much as a second thought. No, he needs something that isn’t work related, and doesn’t need Adachi to believe that he is good at anything.

Of course, knowing what kind of thing he will need to do, and figuring out _what_ to do are not the same thing. Kurosawa stews over the problem all weekend, throwing out this idea as too obvious, and that idea as too easy to misinterpret.

Finally, Monday morning as he’s prepping his own bento for lunch, he settles on making a little extra food that he can plate up in an extra bento. He can tell Adachi he accidentally made too much, and give him the “extra” and it will be a perfectly normal exchange between colleagues on their way to being friends. And, if Adachi happens to notice that he’s an excellent cook, well, that’s just a bonus.

Once it’s lunchtime, however, and time to hand it over, Kurosawa finds his hands are shaking again. Still, this is _important_. He heads over to where Adachi is sitting.

“Can I sit here?” he asks. Adachi jumps and looks up.

“Sure,” Adachi says, and he looks back down at the half an onigiri he’s still eating.

“I got a little carried away making bento this morning,” Kurosawa says with a nervous laugh, “Do you want some?” Adachi stares at him blankly, and Kurosawa can’t decide whether that’s a good or a bad thing. Before Adachi can answer, however, Rokkaku comes running over.

“Oh, there you are! My two favorite Senpais! Ah, so wonderful that you’re sitting so close and I can talk to both of you at once!” Rokkaku says enthusiastically. Kurosawa groans internally. With Rokkaku here there’s no way he'll be able to talk to Adachi properly.

“Oh, wow Kurosawa, you have so much food there!”

“Ah, yes, I was just saying to Adachi that I’d made too much, so if he wanted some…”

“Oh, I have food, thank you though,” Adachi says, and Kurosawa’s heart sinks.

“I’ll take some, Kurosawa!” Rokkaku butts in, and Kurosawa just sighs and hands over the extra bento.

“This is really nice, did you really make this, Kurosawa?” Rokkaku asks as he opens the bento.

“Yes, I-”

“I actually have a lot of work to get back to,” Adachi interrupts, standing, “Enjoy your lunches.”

Kurosawa stares at Adachi’s retreating back. He’d thought that he wouldn’t have a chance with Rokkaku right there, but now he _really_ doesn’t have a chance, because Adachi just left. _How does he not realize I want to talk to him?_ Kurosawa wonders, as he nods in the appropriate places at whatever Rokkaku is saying.

* * *

By the end of the week, Kurosawa has given up all pretenses. He knows he needs to give up on his crush, but apparently unless he is extremely obvious, Adachi isn’t going to notice it anyway. And, if he’s not at least a _little_ obvious, then Adachi will just wave it off as nothing. He has to come on strong.

Thursday night, Kurosawa finds a movie that’s playing on Friday night, something mildly action-y, with the same kind of genre trappings as Ragna Crimson, and he buys two tickets. He’ll print them off tomorrow, and ask Adachi to go with him _as a friend_. If Adachi says no, well, then Kurosawa will just have to take the hint and move on for good.

The next day, however, Adachi spends most of his day in meetings. Kurosawa finds himself getting more and more desperate - he’d picked a movie for _tonight_ and if he doesn’t manage to ask Adachi before the day is over then… No, he won’t think like that. He’ll do it.

Finally, late in the afternoon, he sees his chance. Adachi has been at his desk for longer than twenty minutes, so it doesn’t look like Kurosawa was impatiently waiting for him to come back (even if he was), and he doesn’t show any signs of packing up for another meeting. He gets up from his desk, pocketing the tickets he’d printed out, and heads for Adachi.

Just as he’s opening his mouth to get Adachi’s attention, however, Urabe rolls over.

“Adaaaaachi, listen, my wife got us tickets to this art exhibit for tonight, and you know how I hate art, but if I don’t go I’ll never hear the end of it. Thing is, there’s this dataset from the survey we did a couple months back that should have gone through…” Kurosawa stops listening, because really, he doesn’t understand much about what Adachi does. His shoulders slump as he hears Adachi agreeing to work late, and he goes back to his desk.

Not much later, Kurosawa packs up and heads out. As soon as he leaves the building, he pulls out his phone and texts Yuzuki. He’d already bought the tickets after all, someone might as well get use out of them.

Aneki   
  
Busy tonight?   
Why?   
I bought movie tickets I'm not gonna use, you and Mikami should go.   
Oh shit, did Adachi turn you down?   
Not exactly. Do you want them?   
Can you get one more?   
Why?   
Just can you?   
I can try.   
Good, you’re coming. Meet us there.

And that is how Kurosawa finds himself outside a movie theater an hour later, waiting with Yuzuki for Mikami to come after she gets off work.

“So, tell me what happened with Adachi,” Yuzuki starts, less than five seconds after she arrives.

“I- nothing happened!”

“Oh, was the movie ticket not for him then? Some new crush you’re not telling me about?”

“What? No, I just-”

“Alright then, what happened?” Yuzuki interrupts, clearly on a mission.

Kurosawa sighs and shifts uncomfortably.

“I’ve been trying to talk to him,” he starts slowly, “I really have. I went to get his help on a work thing and he just shoved me off on one of his colleagues. So then, I made extra food one day and tried to give him the extra bento at lunch, but Rokkaku got in the way and then he just… left. So then I thought he definitely wouldn’t just pass up a movie ticket, so I was going to tell him that I’d bought it for you but you’d had something come up, except right as I went over to try his supervisor dumped a bunch of work on him, and I just--”

Right then, Mikami jogs up. She’s a short woman, with straight black hair and bangs, and dressed in casual jeans and sweater.

“So sorry I’m late,” she apologizes, clearly out of breath, “The guy that was supposed to come in and relieve me forgot, and then we had to call around and find someone who could take the shift, and I swear I thought I was never getting out of there.”

“That’s okay,” Yuzuki says, “Gave me more time to get my baby brother to tell me about his stupid attempts to get his crush to notice him.”

“I- That’s not-” Kurosawa protests.

“Oh, right, yes, hello, I’m Mikami Hana, nice to meet you,” Mikami says with a half bow.

“Kurosawa Yuichi, nice to meet you too. Don’t believe everything Aneki tells you about me,” Kurosawa says.

“You should definitely believe everything I tell you, because I’m right,” Yuzuki says, before Mikami can respond. Mikami just looks between the two of them, and then smiles fondly at Yuzuki.

“Sorry, I’m her girlfriend. I think I’m legally obligated to side with her,” she says, and Kurosawa can’t bring himself to even be mad about it, when he sees the way Yuzuki’s eyes light up.

“I guess this outing isn’t about me meeting her, but about you two ganging up on me?” he says at Yuzuki, and she snorts.

“Not that you don’t need it, but no. Listen, we’ll do formal introductions in a second, but we gotta finish dealing with you being a disaster gay.”

“I am not-!”

“Oh? You’re not? Mr. I gotta have fifteen complicated plans, just to talk to him?” she asks archly.

“Then what would you do? How else am I supposed to get him to notice me?!”

“You could, oh I don’t know, just _talk to him_. Like a normal human being?”

“Have you not been listening? I’ve been trying!”

“No, you’ve been coming up with _reasons_ to talk to him. You don’t need reasons, you just need to let it happen!”

“I…” Kurosawa pauses, not sure what to say. It’s alright for Yuzuki, who is never at a loss for what to say. But Kurosawa is always afraid that if he doesn’t have a plan when he goes to talk to Adachi he’ll stick his foot in his mouth, or shove him away further.

“Look, just think about it, okay, I gotta go pee before we sit through a two hour movie,” Yuzuki says, before heading purposefully off in the direction of the toilets. Kurosawa shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, since Aneki had forgotten to actually do the proper introduction before she left.

“She’s a whirlwind isn’t she?” Mikami says finally.

“Yeah,” he says with a grin, “I guess I’m used to it since I grew up with her.”

“It’s nice,” she says, “Keeps me on my toes.” They fall silent again.

“Seriously-” Kurosawa starts at the same moment that Mikami opens her mouth, and he gestures for her to continue.

“I- She’s really special to me,” Mikami says with a blush, looking at her toes. Kurosawa smiles softly, despite the squeeze in his chest that reminds him that still doesn't have this with Adachi.

“I can tell,” Kurosawa says quietly, “And I can tell you make her happy. I haven’t seen her like this in a while.” The smile that spreads across Mikami’s face is genuine and a little shy, and she pushes a strand of hair back behind her ear. Kurosawa is suddenly very proud of his sister for finding someone so different, and yet so perfect for her.

“What were you--?” Mikami asks after another few moments.

“Oh. I just wanted to tell you again not to believe the things she says. She likes making fun of me.”

“Mmm,” Mikami agrees with a nod, “She does. She’s right though.”

“Eh?”

“About talking to him. You’ll feel better if you just talk to him. Whether you end up together or not.” She pauses, and Kurosawa just waits for her to continue.

“I know we just met and I’m not the best one to give you advice. But really. Just go up to him the next time you see him and talk to him.”

“I-” if it had been Yuzuki saying it, Kurosawa would have protested, but something about it coming from another person gave him pause. He wants to protest that he’ll mess it up - that he’ll push Adachi away and ruin any chance of ever fixing this. But if he _doesn’t_ manage to talk to him that’ll mess it up anyway, so maybe they’re right. Maybe it is better to try.

“Thanks,” he says with a smile, and a few seconds later Yuzuki returns.

“Getting along without me?” she asks, and Mikami and Kurosawa share a glance, before bursting into quiet laughter.

* * *

It’s another agonizing week of waiting before Kurosawa is able to just “let it happen” like Yuzuki told him too, but he’s determined to wait. Luckily, it doesn’t take any longer, because he’s beginning to think it will just never happen. Adachi is too shy to talk to anyone when he doesn’t have a specific reason to. Nevertheless, one bright and early morning, Adachi is standing alone by the elevators. Kurosawa steels himself with a deep breath, and steps forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [@zakuromochi](https://zakuromochi.tumblr.com/) has provided EVEN MORE ART, this time at the request of [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) (so thank her for nudging us to get this art done!)  
> 


	9. October, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurosawa is having trouble getting over his crush on Adachi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you to [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) for betaing.
> 
> Also, thank you to [@zakuromochi](https://zakuromochi.tumblr.com/) who is allowing me to reuse the art from the final chapter of Dear Someone because it's just that good!
> 
> Please note that the total number of chapters has changed, and there will be one last short chapter after this one.

Kurosawa is having a bad day. His plans to become friends with Adachi, while simultaneously getting over the Adachi in his letters, are failing miserably. Or rather his plans to become friends with Adachi are coming along nicely, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t seem to get over his crush, or forget the letters like he told himself he would. Adachi seems to be everywhere with his stupidly handsome face, and it’s making Kurosawa’s attempts at getting over him just that much harder.

Things started out well enough. He’d talked to Adachi by the elevator on Monday the way that a colleague might, cordial and friendly. Granted, it was a little awkward, but every conversation with Adachi is a little awkward. Everything was fine. But then, he’d noticed Adachi working late, and before he could even stop himself he’d bought Adachi a can of coffee, and offered to help him with the work. When it took them longer than expected, he offered Adachi a place to stay, because why have him stay in an internet cafe when Kurosawa has a perfectly good living room and futon to offer.

The next morning, however, he’d realized his mistake. He’d thought a thousand times that Adachi with a bedhead was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. It was nothing compared to Adachi just woken up, hair mussed in every direction, eyes slowly blinking open, and body completely relaxed. It’s as if Adachi is a completely different person. Kurosawa had to pinch himself, hard, to stop from imagining what it would be like to wake up next to that for the rest of his life.

After that, things only got worse. Kurosawa kept having to stop himself from standing too close to Adachi, from treating Adachi as if they were already best of friends. He failed more often than not, and was violently reminded by the way that Adachi stuttered and blushed at everything he said. Kurosawa wishes desperately that he knew how to bring out the relaxed Adachi that wrote him letters. But, without dissuading him of the idea that Rokkaku was the one who wrote to him all along, Kurosawa can’t figure out how to achieve that quickly.

And so, last night, when he got home, he’d broken down and cried. He misses Adachi _so much_ and that shouldn’t even be possible since Adachi hasn’t gone anywhere. And then he’d done what he promised himself he’d never do, and he’d gotten Adachi’s letters back out. At first, he’d told himself that it was fine so long as he only looked at the box. But that wasn’t enough, so he untied the ribbon, and promised himself he wouldn’t open it. The night continued this way, until he ended up falling asleep with one of Adachi’s letters under his pillow.

Now, of course, he knows it was a bad idea. He never should have even touched the box. Just watching Adachi from across the room feels predatory, and yet he can’t keep himself from doing it. He notices that Adachi is particularly anxious today, ruffling his hair more than usual, looking around the office as if he’s looking for someone, and nibbling on a thumbnail until it bleeds. Kurosawa wishes he could go over with a bandaid, but that would be admitting that he’d been watching the whole time.

Kurosawa catches himself watching Adachi for the fifth time and rolls his eyes at himself, scrubbing his palms over his face. This _has_ to stop. If only he had a client meeting today, or a department meeting, or _anything_ that would take him away from his desk and force him to stop watching Adachi. But no, he has no meetings planned for the next two weeks. All their major clients are already handily taken care of, and there’d been no recent exploratory requests for him to work on. He’s left doing busywork, mocking up a presentation for a new product that likely won’t be ready for another few months just to keep himself busy.

Finally, as the day is almost over (and he catches himself watching Adachi for the sixteenth time that day), he decides that he can just walk out for a few moments. Nobody will notice. In fact, they’ll assume he’s going to the bathroom. Five minutes, that’s all he needs to get his head back on straight. He goes out to the hall and paces, looking out the window without really seeing what’s on the other side. He _has_ to get over this. He has to stop putting Adachi at a disadvantage. He has to _behave himself._

After five laps of the hallway, he stops in front of the office door, and closes his eyes to compose himself. He can do this. There’s fifteen minutes left till the end of the work day, and he will _focus on work_ and not watch Adachi at all. He squares his shoulders, and pushes the door open.

And stops short, because there by his desk, is Adachi. He’s all packed up and ready to leave, and holding a packet of papers in his hands. He lifts Kurosawa’s laptop by the front edge, and Kurosawa is baffled. _What is he doing?_

“Adachi?” he asks, stepping forward. Adachi jumps and whirls around to face him, looking like a deer in the headlights. He stares at Kurosawa frozen for a few moments.

“Can I help you with something?” Kurosawa asks, when it’s clear Adachi is having trouble. Adachi’s eyes dart back and forth, and then he holds out the packet of papers in both hands and bows his head.

“Just read it,” he says. Kurosawa pauses. Does he dare to hope that Adachi figured everything out and is about to confess-- no, surely not. That would be far too good to be true. No, he’s probably just-- well, what else could he be doing actually? If it was something for work then he could just talk to Kurosawa outright. And that is the stationary he often used to write to Someone…

His heart in his throat, Kurosawa takes the packet of paper from Adachi, who blurts out “Good work today,” and bolts. Kurosawa turns and watches him go, and then unfolds the pages he was just handed. There’s three sheets, and sure enough, the first is addressed “Dear Someone.” Kurosawa desperately wants to go after Adachi without even reading them, but Adachi asked him to, so he forces himself to begin reading.

_Dear Someone,_

_I am so sorry. I know that you are hurting, and it’s my fault. I made an assumption, and it took me too long to realize what had happened to fix it. I don’t know why you didn’t receive my letters in the days afterwards, but I thought that meant that you didn’t want to continue. I’m hoping, now, that I was wrong._

_Whether I was wrong or not, please let me have a chance to explain. I don’t know whether you saw my letters and didn’t read them, or just didn’t get them at all, but I have enclosed them here just in case. The first explains what happened that day, and the second- well you’ll see. Please just read them. I meant every word, and I still do._

_I know that this is probably too little, too late. I’m always doing this, screwing up the things that are important to me. I understand, and I accept that, but I do not want you to think that I did this on purpose. I do not want you to think that I wanted to do this to you, that I wanted to hurt you._

_I’m repeating myself. I just- Please give me a chance. Please read my letters. Please don’t hate me._

_Yours,_

_Adachi_

Kurosawa stares at the letter for a few moments, amazed. How could Adachi ever think he’d hate him? He looks at the door - would Adachi be upset if he just read this and came after him? Probably not, but he did promise… He flips through the other two sheets and skims, and on the second, the word “love” catches his eye. _What?_ He shifts that sheet to the top and begins to read in earnest.

_Dear Someone,_

_I’m so so sorry. I know you didn’t get today’s note. I saw it there before I left today._

_I know I messed up, but please don’t do this to me. I want to fix it, please. Please let me. I don’t know what I’ll do without you in my life._

_I didn’t want to do this via letter. I wasn’t going to do this at all until we’d met, and I had a chance to see-- see if_

_The truth is, I fell in love with you. And I was so scared that I’d screw up meeting you that I actually did screw it up. _

_Please, Someone, don’t do this to me. Please just come back._

_Love,_

_Adachi_

Kurosawa looks up half-dazed. _Love, Adachi._ He’d been desperate for those words since the very beginning of writing to Adachi, and now they’re his and… And Adachi is getting away!

“Kurosawa!” Rokkaku calls from his desk, “Can you--”

“Not _now,_ Rokkaku,” he growls, and he takes off running. Later, maybe, he’ll remember he didn’t actually pack his briefcase before leaving, and that he hadn’t properly clocked out. But right now, all that matters is getting to Adachi.

The elevator dings just as he arrives, and Kurosawa wonders if being a whole elevator cycle behind Adachi is enough to keep him from catching up. Still, it’s faster than the stairs.

He should read the third letter, find out what’s in it, but he’s too jittery. His foot taps incessantly, and he finds himself biting at a fingernail, unable to hold in the nervous energy. Finally the elevator reaches the lobby, and he takes off at a dash, bumping into several people on his way and only stopping for the barest of apologies. He pauses very briefly at the door of the building, looking for Adachi, and- there, he’s about to turn a corner. Kurosawa takes off once again at a flat out run.

“Adachi!” he calls as he rounds the corner, but Adachi is too far away to hear, because he just keeps going. Kurosawa has been gaining on him, but slowly. He takes a few deep breaths and then takes off at a run again.

“Adachi!” he tries again, closer, and this time Adachi stops. Kurosawa would breathe a sigh of relief if he weren’t already out of breath from running.

“Wait, Adachi, please!” he adds, when Adachi doesn’t turn around after stopping. Adachi doesn’t seem to be about to take off again, but just in case…

“Adachi, please!” Kurosawa says, just feet away from Adachi, as he turns around. There’s an awkward silence in which Kurosawa tries to catch his breath, and Adachi just stares at him.

“Did you mean it?” Kurosawa brings himself to ask, finally, when it seems like Adachi isn’t going to say anything.

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?” he presses. He has to be _sure._ He’s been pining after Adachi for so long that he doesn’t trust himself to not overinterpret everything Adachi says.

“I just humiliated myself in front of the whole office and you’re asking me if I’m sure?” Adachi says, and Kurosawa wants to take issue with calling it humiliating, but that’s not important right now. The important thing is that Kurosawa needs Adachi in his arms right this moment, and so he drops his briefcase, and closes the distance, wrapping Adachi up in a hug. He closes his eyes and leans his head toward Adachi’s marveling at the feel of their bodies pressed together, and the smell of Adachi enveloping him. Adachi _loves_ him. That thought feels dangerous, forbidden, and yet it’s real, and Kurosawa can’t help but keep poking at it. Adachi loves him, and knows that _he’s_ Someone and not stupid Rokkaku...

“I thought--” Kurosawa hates how his voice breaks, but he needs Adachi to know that this wasn’t on purpose, that he’d made a mistake and that he never wanted Adachi to suffer, “I thought that you thought--” He finds that he cannot finish the thought, painful as it is. Luckily, Adachi seems to understand.

“I know. I’m sorry. I figured it out eventually.”

“This month has been so miserable,” Kurosawa still cannot get his voice under control, and he hopes that this whole display won’t put Adachi off, because now that he has him, he isn’t willing to let go.

“I know. Me too.” Adachi pats Kurosawa’s back awkwardly. Suddenly Kurosawa realizes what Adachi had said, and-- what does he mean “figured it out eventually?” How _did_ he figure it out?

“How did you--?” he asks, and Adachi interrupts him before he can figure out how to phrase it properly.

“The scar, on your right hand. I noticed it the other night. That’s from when you got stung by a jellyfish, isn’t it? When you were 8?”

Kurosawa pulls back. He doesn’t want to let Adachi go, but he has to see his face.

“Seriously? That’s all it took?”

“That started it. It took me a minute to put the rest together.”

“Oh, I like you _so much_ ,” Kurosawa says, the feelings rising at the back of his throat and puffing up his chest. He pulls Adachi back into the hug, and Adachi chuckles nervously.

“You do, huh?”

“Yes. I do. I have since before the letters, but I was so afraid…” Kurosawa suddenly realizes what he just admitted, and trails off.

“Well. You read my letters. You know--” Adachi says, and Kurosawa can feel the tiny movements of Adachi’s nervous shuffle in his arms. Or, he hopes it’s nerves. Still, he has to be sure.

“Know what?” Kurosawa asks, pulling back again to look directly at Adachi.

“Know… um. Know how I feel,” Adachi says with a blush. Kurosawa attempts to smile, because he wants that to be enough, but it’s not. He needs Adachi to say it.

“And how’s that?” he prompts.

“Really? You’re going to make me say it?” Adachi is looking everywhere except at him, and he has to fight the urge to catch Adachi’s chin in his fingers and force him to look up.

“Saying things is important! We’ve both learned that lesson after the month we’ve had.” As he says this, Kurosawa makes a mental note to apologize to Yuzuki for all the times he’s made fun of her advice, because really, it turns out she was right.

“I like you,” Adachi mumbles.

“What was that?” he asks, not because he couldn’t hear it, but because he wants to hear it again, and again, and again for the rest of their lives.

“I like you,” Adachi says slightly louder.

“What?”

“Oh for-” And then, Adachi is in his space again, and there’s a warmth against Kurosawa’s lips, fleeting and soft. Kurosawa blinks. Did Adachi just?

Kurosawa looks up and Adachi licks his lips and it’s too much. Kurosawa reaches for Adachi’s face, unthinkingly dropping the letters in his hand so that he can cup Adachi’s cheek. He presses his lips to Adachi’s and his senses flood with the warmth and smell of him, and he could do this forever. He’s no longer in control. His tongue flicks out and he can taste salt from Adachi’s tears mixed with something else that he can’t describe, and _oh_ he could do this forever. Eventually, though, Adachi pulls back.

“Does that answer your question?” Adachi asks, with a little half laugh. Kurosawa is so overwhelmed with emotion that the best he can do is smile and reach for Adachi’s hand.

Suddenly his phone buzzes in his pocket. His smile turns sheepish as he awkwardly reaches across his body to get at the phone, unwilling to let go of Adachi’s hand for anything. When he finally gets to it, the screen lights up with a text from Yuzuki.

_Are you dating him yet?_

Kurosawa blushes, and attempts to shove it back in his pocket before Adachi sees.

“If that’s important, you can-”

“No,” Kurosawa says, shaking his head forcefully, “It’s just my sister. She’s taken to--” he pauses, unsure if he should really say this, but given the way this conversation has been going maybe it’s okay.

“She’s taken to teasing me, about… about you. She’s been pushing me these last few weeks to talk to you, and-- actually now that I think about it, she pushed me to write to you in the first place.”

“Ah.”

Kurosawa hears something crunch underfoot, and he looks down to realize that Adachi’s letters are scattered across the sidewalk. He never even finished reading the last one. That realization finally gets him to let go of Adachi’s hand and he begins chasing after the three leaves of paper.

“Kurosawa!” Adachi calls to him, just as he catches the last one a little ways down the sidewalk. Kurosawa turns and jogs back to Adachi.

“Can you tell her thank you? For me?” Adachi asks shyly. Kurosawa just stares for a few moments, unable to believe his luck. Then, he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

_Yes. And he says thank you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though the story is _functionally_ finished, I think you'll really want to stick around for the Epilogue, which should be up in a couple of days here. Thank you for reading!


	10. Epilogue: November, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again we have reached the end of this story. [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz) beta'd the whole thing, and made it 1000x times better.

Kurosawa is standing outside an Izakaya with Yuzuki, waiting for Adachi and Mikami to show up. It’s their first double date since he and Adachi got together and he’s feeling very nervous about it - not because he thinks any of them will dislike each other, but because Yuzuki might very well roast him about the wrong thing and put Adachi off.

“I’m glad this worked out,” Yuzuki says, breaking Kurosawa out of his thoughts.

“Mmm.”

“I was half afraid that once you finally got him you’d propose and get married at lightspeed, and I’d be planning a wedding for someone I’d never even met,” she adds with a laugh. Kurosawa can feel himself turning bright red, and he ducks his head, hoping that the low light from the street lamps isn’t enough to give him away. How on _earth_ is Yuzuki always able to find the single most embarrassing thing about him in every situation? It’s like she can _smell_ the embarrassment on him.

“Don’t tell me…” she says, and he glances over to see her wide eyed and open-mouthed.

“You’ve bought engagement rings, haven’t you?” she asks, when he tries to look away again.

“No! No. I have _not_ bought engagement rings.”

“Yuichi. Are you lying to me?” 

“No! I do not have engagement rings!” he protests. “Besides, he’d be too shy to wear a ring,” he adds in a mumble. Her eyebrows shoot up.

“I was right! Okay, you gotta tell me now,” she demands.

“I-” he tries to protest, but one look at her face tells him there’s no way he’s getting away with it, so he just sighs, takes a quick look around to make sure Adachi isn’t coming yet, and pulls the velvet-lined red leather box out of his pocket. He angles his body to hide it from people passing by and flips open the lid. Inside are two shiny, crimson pens with gold filigree. Just looking at them makes his heart leap into his throat.

“Oh my _God_ , Yuichi. You’ve been dating, what? Three days?!” she asks, “Wait, are you proposing _tonight?_ ”

“It’s been two weeks,” he protests, “and keep your voice down! I got a notification that they were done so I just picked them up on my way here. I want to do it right, I’m not doing it tonight.”

“Two weeks, and you ordered custom-made…” she shakes her head, “Wait, why pens?”

“Well, like I said, he’d be shy of wearing rings. And, I don’t know, he likes stationary, and we started out writing letters, so…”

Yuzuki looks like she has something to say about that, but her eyes go over his shoulder.

“Shit, he’s coming, put it away,” she says, keeping her eyes trained on the same spot. He flips the lid closed and shoves the box into his pocket.

“You,” Yuzuki says quietly, “Are the biggest dork there is, and he’s gonna love it. Remind me to roast you later.”

“Be cool!” he warns her, before turning around to smile and wave to Adachi.

“Ah, Adachi! You made it. This is my sister,” Kurosawa says, gesturing towards Yuzuki.

“Oh, Adachi Kiyoshi, nice to meet you,” Adachi says with a nervous bow. Yuzuki has a wide grin on her face, and Kurosawa braces himself.

“I’m your new sister-in-law, Kurosawa Yuzuki! It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Adachi goes bright red, and Kurosawa can feel his own face heading for the same color. He sighs inwardly. It’s going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for reading this whole thing! A few people have expressed interest in rereading concurrently, so I have put together a [Recommended Reading Order](https://creativityobsessed.tumblr.com/post/642560216405245952/someone-series-recommended-reading-order) over on my tumblr. 
> 
> I still have plenty of Cherry Magic fanfic in the pipeline, so don't go too far away!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I plan to update on Mondays and Thursdays, and the rest will certainly be longer than this little teaser. See you soon!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Love, Someone.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29673186) by [unacaritafeliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/unacaritafeliz)




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